TVF2: Larten Crepsley, Father of the Bride
by roxypony
Summary: Just your typical Vampire Mountain Spider Wedding.
1. Paris's Present

A banner reads "_TVF 2: LARTEN CREPSLEY, FATHER OF THE BRIDE_ PREMIERE!".

The crowds scream, the cameras flash, a white Cadillac Escalade pulls up and an sexy author wearing a long glittery red dress jumps out.

ROXYPONY: HEY EVERYONE!  
CROWD: WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN? (crowd throws stuff at sexy author)  
ROXYPONY: I'M SORRY, I'M LAZY!  
CROWD: WE WANT VAMPIRES! WE WANT VAMPIRES! WE WANT VAMPIRES! WE WANT-  
ROXYPONY: OKAY OKAY HERE'S YOUR VAMPIRES!

(Roxypony jumps back into Escalade and zooms away, and another Escalade (blue) pulls up. Out comes Darren and Harkat)

DARREN AND HARKAT: HI! DID YOU MISS US?  
CROWD: YES!

(A third Escalade (black) carrying Mika and Arrow pulls up.)

MIKA AND ARROW: WOOHOO!  
CROWD: (drools)  
ROXYPONY: (from far away) THEY'RE MINE!

(Another Escalade (red) brings Larten and Seba.)

LARTEN: HELLO HUMANS!  
SEBA: ROXY MADE ME COME BACK TO BE IN THIS ABOMINATION OF A FANFICTION AGAIN!  
CROWD: YAY!

(A final Escalade, (green) arrives with Paris and Kurda)

KURDA: OMG HEYYYY!  
PARIS: DON'T FORGET ME!  
CROWD: WE WANT THE STORY! WE WANT THE STORY! WE WANT THE-

ROXYPONY: (wakes up) That was weird. I had a dream that a lot of people were mad at me...and the Vampires were there! Oh well. (scratches head, chews gum)

--

Okay, all i have to say is that i'm SO sorry that i took so long to post this. I said i'd update often in the summer, and I haven't. I haven't even been overly busy, just lazy. This chapter was just really slow to write, and **_HUGE THANKS TO ELENAFROMTHEWOODS WHO HELPED ME A LOT WITH THIS STORY AND WITHOUT HER IT WOULD HAVE BEEN MORE WEEKS TILL THIS WAS FINISHED!! THANK YOU SO MUCH_**

This first chapter is sort of a prologue, and a quick replay of TVF: VOV in case you forgot :P there will be wedding stuff next chapter :)

So you've waited long enough, onto the story!

"GUESS WHAT!" Paris Skyle shrieked as he came speeding into the living room where Darren Shan, Harkat Mulds, Mika Ver Leth, Arrow, Seba Nile, Kurda Smahlt and Larten Crepsley were sitting and watching Family Guy.

"You're moving out?"

"You lost your false teeth?"

"You lost your meds?"

"You won a year's-supply of Bed Head hairproducts?"

"You found...Nemo?"

"I'm done the slideshow!" Paris yelled delightedly.

"Slideshow...?"

"Skiing pictures?" Paris was obviously dissapointed that his friends didn't share his exuberance.

"Is _that_ what you took so many pictures for?" Mr. Crepsley inquired.

"Yep, but some of the videos are Darren's. And the last few are from Arrow's camera."

Everyone remembered all too well the grumpy traveller who'd smashed Paris's camera during a forced interview, forcing him to borrow Arrow's.

Paris coninued: "Remember all the memories? All the laughs we shared? Don't you remember any of it?"

"Of course...It was...only last week!" Harkat consoled.

"I've repressed it already." Mika grumbled.

"Just play the thing." Darren suggested.

After almost half an hour of fiddling around with the laptop and the movie projector, Paris jumped back triumphantly and pressed PLAY. Rascal Flatt's "Life Is A Highway" began to play.

"You couldn't have picked a cheesier song!" Mika groaned.

Despite Mika's disgust, the slideshow began. The title appeared onscreen:_ "Winter Vacation 08, Golden Horseshoe Ski Resort."_ and the pictures started flashing by:

**- A title card: "DAY 1: ROAD TRIP!"**

- Paris grinning as he tossed a sock into his suitcase.

- The group waiting sleepily in the living room with their luggage.

- Seba sleeping on his many suitcases.

- Mika giving the finger.

- Arrow glaring at the camera as he listened to his iPod.

- Kurda pursing his lips and giving the 3-finger "I Love You" sign.

- Darren standing in the hallway with Harkat piggybacking on his shoulders, both grinning and holding ski poles.

- Mr. Crepsley with his mouth open, looking like he'd been scolding as the picture was taken.

- Harkat standing in the fridge, flinging food into his open suitcase.

- A close-up of Seba sleeping, with his mouth wide open.

- Mika and Arrow flicking dead spiders at Kurda who was busy combing his hair.

- Darren standing in the doorway with his mouth open in a silent scream as a horde of Vampires and a Little Person stampeded past him.

- The gang standing in the snow arguing.

- Mika holding up both middle fingers at Darren.

- Arrow pushing Kurda aside.

Then a video clip filmed by Darren:

_The guys jumped on each other viciously. For almost 10 minuites, no one was winning, then Seba had a mild heart attack, and he collapsed dragging Kurda down with him, who squealed grabbed Paris's pants in an effort to stay on his feet. It didn't keep him standing, but everyone got a good view of Paris's...well you know what I mean. Mr. Creplsey screamed, covered his eyes, and ran directly into a tree, thus knocking himself down. Now only Mika, Arrow, and Harkat remained on their feet. Ignoring Harkat, Mika lunged at Arrow, who bodychecked him. Mika collapsed painfully, while Arrow did a victory dance. That is, until Harkat grabbed his legs and tipped him over. _(from The Vampire Files: Vampires On Vacation, chapter 5: Road Trippin)

- Harkat holding up his fists triumphantly.

- Kurda straining to lift his baby blue Prada suitcase into the back of the van.

- Mika grabbing the bag and flinging it in.

**- A title card: "ADVENTURES IN THE BACK OF THE UPS VAN"still with "Life is a Highway."**

- Everyone but Darren, Harkat, and Paris crammed uncomfortably into the back of the van.

- Seba screaming furiouisly.

- Arrow covering his face with his laptop screen.

- A hand, presumably Mika's, partly covering the camera lens.

- Mr. Crepsley looking with disgust at something on the floor, presumably someone else's saliva.

- The view through the back window of Darren and Harkat's heads, with Harkat pointing at the Gas station up ahead.

- A video clip filmed by Darren:

_Even before they stopped, Mika, Kurda, Larten, Paris, Arrow, and Seba piled out of the truck and stampeded into the gas station. As the cashier watched the Vampires kill each other for the only bathroom, Harkat crept in and made off with an unpacked box of assorted candy. _(The Vampire Files: Vampires On Vacation, chapter 4: Road Trippin.)

- Harkat carrying his box back to the van.

- Seba picking up a bag of chips and eyeing it suspiciously.

- Mika and Arrow chugging gatorade.

- Then pouring it on Kurda.

- Seba wearing an empty chip bag on his head, with Mr. Crepsley and Paris smirking in the background.

- A number of dark blurs resembling suitcases flying through the air as the van made an illegal U-Turn to get to the Airport turn off.

- Mika, Arrow, Larten, Kurda, Seba and a huge amount of miscellanious luggage items flung roughly against the side of the van.

- Mika giving the finger from beneath a pile of heavy looking suitcases, including a baby-blue Prada one.

- An extreme close-up of Seba, whose eye seemed to be twitching as the picture was taken.

- An extreme close-up of the back of someone's throat, quite possibly Seba's.

- A window shot of the nearing Airport.

- A closer version of the Airport.

- Kurda giving the thumbs-up.

- A rare shot of Mika smiling.

- Arrow pushing Kurda aside to peer out the tiny window in the back door.

**- A title card: "AT THE AIRPORT" and a new song, "Me And My Gang" by Rascal Flatts began to play, causing Mika to complain about having two country songs in one slideshow.**

- The back door opening a crack.

- The back door being forced open by Arrow and Mika.

- Arrow and Mika standing outside holding their bags, waiting impatiently for the others.

- Mr. Crepsley stepping lightly out of the van.

- Seba tumbling out of the van

- And landing flat on the pavement.

- With his suitcases falling on top of him.

- The view from the back as the gang stampeded towards the doors of the Airport.

- A similar view, but this time with Harkat lying on the ground, accidentally tripped by Kurda's suitcase.

- Darren helping Harkat up.

- A video clip of Seba spinning wildly in the revolving doors with the gang standing on the other side, laughing their asses off as Seba screamed furiously and spun faster and faster, until Mika and Arrow eventually stopped the thing.

- A shot of the extremely busy airport.

- Another

- And another.

- And another, this time with the top of Harkat's head in the shot.

- Darren looking around nervously.

- Mr. Crepsley lecturing.

- Seba complaining.

- A picture Paris had taken of himself, frowning comically.

- Mika and Arrow grumbling.

- Harkat holding Darren's hand, smiling loyally.

- Kurda staring at a rack of designer watches longingly.

- A sound clip: "Attention all passengers, Flight 147 to Quebec is now boarding. Repeat, flight 147 to Quebec is boarding at gate 27." somebody swearing, and Darren yelling "RUN!"

- The gang running chaotically.

- Another.

- A blurry shot of the floor, and somebody's foot.

- A slightly blurry shot of Harkat arriving on the golf cart.

- Darren looking desperate and terrified thinking it was security guards.

- Darren realising who it was, and grinning.

- The gang piled into the cart.

- A close-up of Larten's face as he rode on the roof, which Paris had taken from within the cart.

- Harkat driving intensely.

- Seba complaining again.

- Darren grinning with disbelief again.

- Mika and Arrow with an arm around each other's shoulders, giving the thumbs up.

- A second shot of them, this time with Kurda's head between theirs.

- A group of bystanders staring in shock as the group zoomed by.

- A close up of a sign that read GATE 27.

- Darren pointing at it.

- Harkat swerving professionally.

- Mr. Crepsley falling off the roof as the cart jerked to a stop.

- A blurry shot of the hall that led to the plane.

- A blurry shot of the open door in the side of the plane.

- A blurry shot of the inside of the plane.

- A blurry shot of an alarmed-looking flight attenant.

- Harkat eating a large coffee crisp bar happily.

- Darren giving the thumbs up.

- Mika and Arrow watching a movie on Arrow's iPod.

- Seba sleeping and drooling.

- A video taken as the plane took off:

_The scenery outside the tiny windows began to move. _

_"Why's it moving?" Kurda asked in alarm._

_"How did you think we're supposed to get there?" Mika asked incredulously._

_"It's going too fast!" Kurda wailed, covering his eyes. (With Seba hollering in the background all the while.)_

_"It's supposed to, how else would we get into the air?"_

_"WE HAVE TO __**FLY**__?"_ _Kurda was having a full-on panic attack now._

_"Yeah..." Mika said unsympathetically._

_"I hate flying!" Kurda put on his D&G hat and pulled it down over his eyes._

_Mika sighed, and put his hand on the blonde's shoulder (shuddering slightly as he did so)._

_"Seriously, Kurda, we're perfectly safe. I won't let anything happen to you." he mumbled._

_"I don't get it, that almost sounded nice?" said Kurda, peeking out from beneath his stylish hat._

_"I just want you to shut up so we don't attract attention." Mika explained._

_As the plane reached maximun height, Kurda leaned back in his seat, and for a moment it looked like he'd be OK, then he grabbed his air sickness bag and-_

The video ended, and the pictures resumed.

**- A title card: "The Resort" and a new song, "Celebrate Good Times" by Kool and the Gang.**

"I was wrong, you DID pick a cheesier song!" Mika moaned.

"What happened to...the pictures...from the rest of the plane ride?" Harkat asked.

"My camera died."

"But you were taking pictures the whole way!"

"I hadn't _noticed_ my camera was dead."

The slideshow resumed (after Paris charged his camera batteries in the hotel room):

- Paris's hotel room, complete with a mocha-maker.

- Arrow lying in bed, covering giving the finger as Paris took his picture.

- Darren and Harkat standing sleepily in the doorway of their room, glaring and wearing pajamas.

- Kurda and Mika in their doorway, Mika glaring in his black PJs and Kurda posing in his pink silk robe.

- Seba and Larten standing in the doorway, Seba with his mouth open in complaint (or a yawn?), and Larten making the "go away" gesture with his hand.

- Darren sneaking up behind Larten with a mischievous grin on his face.

-Larten looking around wondering why everybody looks at him.(or at Darren sneaking up behind him)

-Darren jumping on Lartens back, clunging tight and doing the v-sign while smiling wide into the camera.

- A brief video clip of Larten falling under Darrens weight. (to Titanic theme music.)

-Mika trying to push Kurda holding a hairbrush out of their room.

-Harkat chewing what seems to be a bar of soap.

-Kurda screaming and searching for something

-Larten pointing at Harkat (still chewing the soap)

-Kurda falling into tears.

-Close up of a bit chewed, pink soap.

-Strange view of Seba's room, seems to be taken from up the wardrobe.

- Larten sleepily staring at the newspaper.

-Larten throwing the newspaper away with an annoyed face.

-Arrow listening to his iPod with closed eyes, Darren sleeping with his head on Arrow's lap.

"I DON'T REMEMBER THAT!" Arrow interrupted.

"You were asleep." Darren grinned. The slideshow continued:

-Kurda in nightdress and hear in a towel, walking in the corridoor.

**- A title card: "ACTUALLY SKIING" and a new song, "Paralyzer" by Finger Eleven.**

- Seba struggling with his skiing goggles

-The gang outside the hotel fully ski-dressed in rainbow colors (Seba red, Larten red, Darren yellow, Harkat green, Arrow blue, Paris puple, Kurda pink, Mika black)

-Harkat's skis sticking up from the snow.

-Kurda brushing snow from his hair.

-Mika burying Kurda in snow.

- Seba and Larten, trying to get their skis on.

- A video clip: _As Kurda, Mika and Arrow were waiting for their lift, it appeared to be coming awfully fast, and Kurda didn't like the look of that... He sidestepped, trying to get out of the way, but the lift caught him and dragged him all the way to the large concrete post that held the lift up. He fell off, as Mika and Arrow were almost wetting themselves with laughter. _(from Vampires On Vacation chapter 5: Vending Machines)

- Kurda, Arrow, and Mika sitting on the lift, Kurda wearing the poutiest face ever.

- Harkat standing at the top of the hill, pointing down.

- A video clip of Seba crashing into the forest.

- Mr.Crepsley crash-landing with his skis crossed.

- Mika parting ways with his snowboard as he twisted to avoid a fallen skier.

- Mika tangled in the bright orange snow fence.

- Darren banging his head against his ski pole miserably.

- Harkat scooting over a small mogul wearing a huge grin.

- Arrow standing boredly, watching the proceedings.

- Larten and Seba in a tangled heap.

- The view of the bottom of Mika's snowboard as he jumped over the fallen Paris.

- A blurry shot of something white, presumably snow.

- Kurda lying face-down in the snow.

- Mika and Arrow jumping over him.

- Darren and Harkat gliding down the hill, side by side.

- A similar picture, this time including Larten.

- A group shot of everyone standing by a billboard showing massive map of the resort. Darren and Harkat looking happy, Mika looking annoyed, Arrow looking bored, Kurda looking stylish, Seba looking grumpy, Larten looking politely frazzled, and Paris with his mouth wide open, yelling at the photographer how to operate the camera.

-

-Mr. Crepsley trying to get out of the snow after his crash

-Darren smiling into the camera

-Darren falling down.

-Harkat pointing at a sign leading into the forest

-Vampires skiing down the path

- A shaky videoclip:

_Darren whizzed over some moguls, catching huge air. Seba, who was not yet good at steering, got himself launched 10 feet into the air after zooming up an enormous jump. Miraculously he landed without wiping out. Nearby, Mika was effortlessly and sexily riding every jump he could get at. Mr. Crepsley attempted to turn, but succeeding only in turning himself backwards. At about 80 mph. Harkat was crouched in a little ball, shooting down the center of the hill in a dead straight line. Arrow was racing Mika. Paris, pointing the camera at himself, was covering his eyes and screaming. Darren realised that he was speeding straight towards a 20 foot high jump, with a sheer drop on the far side. He cleared the top and felt himself lift off into orbit. He closed his eyes and waited for the end. He heard a smacking sound of skis hitting snow and he heard himself scream. He felt a pain in his knees. Pain? You have to be alive to feel pain, right? He opened his eyes. He was alive! But now was no time to be thankful; a patch of moguls were looming in front of him. He cleared one, two, three, four, five, and he landed. Still alive! Suddenly the monster hill was welcoming. He soared over jump after jump, losing fear. Mr. Crepsley accompanied him over some of them. Mika was by his side constantly, trying to be faster, to jump higher. Harkat hit the smaller moguls, but got huge air. Darren, Mika, Arrow, and Mr. Crepsley worked the half-pipe, with Harkat, Seba, Paris, and Kurda whizzing down on either side. Then they cleared the half-pipe, and the hill steepend into a near-vertical line. It was over. They wouldn't survive this one, it was damn near convex! He was going down, not going to make it, yelling his good-byes to the others-_

_CRASH. And it was over. The ground was flat again. He was lying on it, facedown in the snow. He looked up in time to see Mika crash inches away from him, followed closely by Arrow, Mr. Crepsley, Harkat, Paris, and even Kurda. Every single one had survived the hill without a single wipe out. _(From Vampires On Vacation, chapter 6: Room Service)

-Mika trying to get a shaking Kurda off of him.

-Arrow with a confused look, holding up a hairbrush while sitting in the snow.

-Arrow quickly throwing the brush as far as he can.

-Darren saying something to Larten with a big smile on his face.

-Larten pushing Darrens head down into the snow

-Harkat sticking his head out of the snow, waving at the camera

-The gang slowly getting up the hill again, leaving a disappointed Darren behind.

-Mr. Crepsley drinking hot coffee from a plastic cup

-Kurda hugging Arrow

-Arrow smashing Kurda with his skis

-View of the hill down

- A videoclip of Mika sitting in the snow, eating a cookie, with Kurda's voice in the background screaming, "THAT'S MINE!"

- Another videoclip: _Kurda had gone off the track and was blazing a new trail- right through the woods...towards a river._

_"Kurda, turn!" Darren instructed. But Kurda couldn't turn, if he did, he'd hit a tree. He couldn't stop, either. The river was getting closer and closer. Kurda was as good as dead from hypothermia. Suddenly, just as he was about to leave dry land, a big black blur intercepted his path and knocked him over, effectively stopping him from enetering the river. The two of them lay facedown in the snow for a moment, then Kurda looked up at his saviour... _(From Vampires On Vacation, chapter 8, the Valley of Doom)

- A shocked moose staring at the vampires skiing by

-The little chalet on the bottom of the valley

-Zooming in, snow everywhere, deserted chairlift, no light

-Close up on Harkat's ski mask

-Window with Harkat-sized hole in it

-Close up on a pillow

-A freezer filled with food

-Darren, Mika, Kurda and Arrow, standing next to a bunch of buttons, switches and wires, dripping wet from the fire alarm sprinklers

-Darren pointing poutily at the wires

-Zoom in on a dial marked 'heat control

-Back to a pouting Darren

-Harkat attacking a packet of nachos

-Mika sorting out the only black blankets from the cupboards

-The cafeteria, slumber party style

-Darren staring at a picture of a turtle

-A moose standing outside the window, looking lonely

-Harkat going out to the moose to comfort it

-Harkat on the back of the moose, waving to the others

-Kurda and Seba building a tower of rice krispie squares

-Mika 'accidently' knocking it down

-Arrow sharpening his sword and saying something to a screaming Seba who is pointing at the ice-machine with a wild look in his eyes

-Close up on what seems to be Mr. Crepsleys ear

-Zooming in

-Zooming in...

-Larten not able to read the 'push' sign on the door and trying to pull it open

-Arrow helping too, followed by Mika

-Harkat pointing at the 'push' sign and Larten looking pissed off

-Seven hands and one camera in the air ("How the hell did you take that picture, Paris??")

-Kurda trying to style Mr. Crepsleys hair without him noticing

-Mr. Crepsley running to the bathroom screaming

-Everyone sleeping, except Kurda staring at Mikas hair, his fingers twitching.

- Mika and Arrow each chugging a bottle of Gatorade.

- Arrow holding an empty bottle triumphantly and Mika frowning and holding an almost-empty one.

- Arrow and Harkat glaring intensely at each other.

- Arrow and Harkat chugging their gatorade.

- Harkat grinning and hugging an empty bottle, while Arrow stared in awe, holding his own half-full bottle.

- Harkat passionately holding a bottle of Gatorade in each hand, and wearing a medal (made of a Gatorade bottle cap taped to a string) with a subtitle that read "HARKAT OF THE GATORADE".

- A video of the floor, and Paris's voice screaming, "MY CAMERA'S ABOUT TO DIE AND I DON'T HAVE MY CHARGER WITH ME! DOES ANYONE HAVE A CAMERA I CAN USE-", a beeeeep, and blackness.

**- A title card: "FINALLY BACK AT THE HOTEL". and a new song, Avril Lavigne's "Innocence."**

- Larten lying tiredly on the couch, smiling.

- the open fridge, with Harkat shilouetted in its light.

- Seba staring at the TV, mouth open in complaint.

- Darren sleeping in a kitchen chair, still wearing his ski clothes, seeming to have fallen asleep the moment he walked through the door.

- Larten gently removing Darren's coat and ski boots, trying not to wake his student up.

- Seba asleep in a chair with his mouth wide open, and Harkat peering in.

- Mika lying face-down on the floor, apparently trying to sleep, with Kurda reaching for his hair.

- Mika, apparently woken up, reaching for Kurda's throat.

- Arrow looking peacefully out the window at the mountains, holding an old-looking photo of a woman.

Darren interrupted the slideshow by saying loudly, "Who's that in the picture, Arrow?" Arrow mumbled something. Paris looked sympathetic, and turned the volume of the music up to distract Darren.

"Is it almost over?" Mika wanted to know.

"I worked hard on this!" Paris protested.

Again the slideshow resumed:

- Kurda straightening his hair.

- Mika unplugging the straightener.

- Mika shoving Kurda out of the bathroom.

- Darren, awake, staring sleepily into a bag of chips.

- Fallen asleep again with his head in the bag.

- Larten and Seba sleeping on the bed, Larten on top of the covers, face-down with his feet on the pillow, and Seba completely covered by blankets, with his arm dangling out the side.

- The same scene, this time including Harkat in the middle, holding a half-full bottle of Gatorade.

- Kurda watching a Pussycat Dolls music video on TV.

- Mika ripping the remote from Kurda and changing the channel to Extreme Snowboarding.

- Mika and Kurda playing tug-of-war with the poor remote.

- Darren snatching the remote and changing the channel to Family Guy to keep everyone happy.

**- A title card: "PARTY TIME!" and new music, "Ice Ice Baby".**

- The TV screen: "AMERICAN IDOL"

- Kurda holding pom-poms with his mouth wide open in cheer.

- Mika with his hands over his eyes.

- David Archuleta singing on the TV in the background, and someone's hand giving him the finger in the foreground.

- Harkat ignoring the TV and concentrating only on his bag of chips.

- Mika and Arrow shaking pop bottles.

- Mika and Arrow holding the bottles as their contents flew everywhere.

- Darren trying (and failing) to catch it in his mouth.

- Harkat chugging orange Gatorade.

- Kurda trying to remove bubblegum from his hair.

- Larten and Seba each holding a cup of coffee, Larten looking happy and Seba looking suspicious.

- Darren sleeping on the table.

- Mika, Arrow, and Harkat splayed out on the couch.

- Mr. Crepsley lying facedown on one bed with a pop bottle still in his hand.

- Seba reclining on the other bed.

- Paris lying comfortably on the floor near the TV. (photo by Darren)

- Kurda curled up in a armchair, with a brush and mirror in his hands.

- Darren curled up on the table.

**- A title card: "GOING HOME" and new music, The Backstreet Boy's "Larger Than Life".**

("I don't like this song..." Mika mumbled.)

- A close-up of Mr. Crepslry's cell phone, bearing Madam Octa's text messaged announcement.

- Darren, Harkat, Seba, and Larten grinning.

- Mika, Kurda, and Arrow glaring.

- The back of the Escalade, packed with luggage.

- Mika sitting in the front passenger seat, and Darren behind the wheel.

- A brief video clip: _Mountain scenerey flashing by, with the gang complaining, singing, yelling, and munching in the background, then the camera turned away from the window_

("What is that thing?")

_"HOLY SHIT, IT'S KURDA'S ASS!" Paris screeched into the camera._

_Then the camera seemed to have been thrown, and with a muffled thump, everything went black._

("Paris, I want to know why the hell you put that in the slideshow?")

- Another video clip: _Paris's voice, "..Hey, I finally got the camera working!" Mika's voice "Damn." and a window view of the airport, and Paris's voice again, "CRAP, IT'S TURNING OFF!" then just static._

- Kurda wearing pink crystal-encrusted sunglasses.

- Mika and Arrow wearing black mission-impossible style sunglasses.

- Larten wearing army pilot-style sunglasses.

- Seba wearing upside-down sunglasses.

- Harkat grinning and sitting in an airport golf cart with an I.D. tag.

- Everyone piling into the cart (again).

- Annoyed bystanders as the cart zoomed by.

- A close-up of a sign reading "Gate 18."

- A video interview:

_A close-up of a grumpy looking tourist's face._

_Paris: Hi there!_

_Man: Who the hell are you?_

_Paris: Which metal flying thinger are you getting on today?_

_Man: Get that camera out of my face!_

_Paris: What's your-HEY! There's no need to get violent-_

_SMASH. Static._

- A video clip:

_Paris: Thanks for the camera, Arrow!_

_Arrow: If you break my camera, I'll break your nose (Gives Paris the finger.)_

- Seba stretched out on the seats, sleeping.

- Mika listening to his iPod.

- Kurda listening to his iPod with his mouth wide open in song.

- Seba holding a humungous cup of Starbucks coffee.

- A video clip: _A blurry view of the ground, with Paris yelling at Darren, and Harkat saying something calming, and Darren defending himself, then suddenly yelling, "SHUT UP!" and an announcement saying "Attention passengers of flight 147, departing from gate 18. We regret to inform you that your flight has been cancelled due to unexpected engine problems. Please accept our apologies as we work to fix this problem." followed by load swearing from the Vampires._

_**- **_**A title card: "ON THE WAY HOME- AGAIN" with new music, Chamillionaire's "Ridin Dirty"**

("Hey! Where's the pictures from me parking that stupid car?" Darren complained. "That was hard!"

"The camera was dead!" Paris protested.

"And in the hotel?"

"I was sleeping!"

The slideshow resumed:)

- Kurda sticking his head out the window.

- Mika, with Harkat on his shoulders, standing on the seat and sticking out of the sunroof.

- Darren grinning and singing to the radio.

- Harkat also singing.

- Someone in another car giving them the finger.

- Seba holding a mug of coffee protectively.

- Larten looking at him in exasperation.

- Kurda stretching, and Mika leaning away from him.

- Mika and Arrow pretending to play electric guitars.

- Harkat joyfully flinging gummy bears into the air.

- The gang standing wearily in front of the airport, posing for one last group shot.

- The gang standing at the entrance to...Vampire Mountain?

- A title card: "THE END. CAN'T WAIT TILL NEXT YEAR!"

"Paris! You missed the entire trip home!" Darren yelled indignantly.

"I'd been taking pictures for the whole thing! I wanted to sit back and relax for once." Paris corrected him politely.

"That was...a good slideshow!" Harkat smiled.

"It was totally sweet!" Kurda added.

"A lot of the music sucked." Mika commented.

"Stupid fancy technology! The whole thing was an abomination!" Seba growled.

"I rather liked it." said Larten.

"It was awesome, Paris." Darren grinned. "Thanks for doing it."

"Can we watch it again?" Kurda asked.

So they did.

* * *

i really hope you didn't hate that, cuz it took me a month to write!! now you know what to do!! review and reccomend! and maybe check out me and Elena's story, Onyx? It's not too bad ;) next chapter will be up way sooner.

all i can say now is that it's so good to be back. i have 6 fics up now, but TVF is still my favourite, and i've missed the vampires so much.

xoxoROXYPONY


	2. Feathery Wreaths and Power Tools

After an 8:30 am riding practice, my ass hurts and I am exhasuted, so I'm just gonna get right to it and break my long tradition of replying reviews. (It's a bit short, I apologize.)

* * *

What kind of sound does a Vampire make when a giant spider sneaks up behind him dragging a massive piece of paper? If you guessed "AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT!!" you'd be quite correct. At least you would if the Vampire in question was named Kurda Smahlt.

"Goodness, Kurda!" exclaimed Larten Crepsley, hurrying forward and snatching the spider out of harm's way. "You can't step on her before her big day! Now what do you have first on your list, Madam Octa?"

Madam Octa pointed to the first item on the incredibly long list of details that needed to be planned for her wedding. Mr. Crepsley turned to the other Vampires.

"She is open to suggestions on where the wedding should be held." he announced.

"The Hall of Death?" Mika mumbled, earning him an annoyed look from Larten and a hungry look from Madam Octa.

"Like...outside?" Kurda added. "That's like, really "in" this year, I've heard..."

"How about the Hall of Princes?" Paris Skyles suggested kindly.

Mika and Arrow looked revolted beyond belief, but Madam Octa was nodding, so no one dared to disagree.

When the bride-to-be had crawled away with her fiancee, the Vampires were left with the Task List. (Insert scary music.) Darren spent several minuites scribbling on a piece of paper before taping it to the wall.

"How DARE you waste our supply of tape on this abomination!?" Seba wailed.

"We have...lots more, Seba...look!" said Harkat gently, holding up a box of rolls upon rolls of tape. Someone had obviously stocked up. Seba hyperventilated a sigh of relief.

"Just do not waste it!" he grumbled to no one in particular.

"Anyway" said Darren, pointing at the list. "I've assigned everyone a job!"

Mika groaned. Kurda cheered, not knowing what the heck Darren was talking about.

THIS WEEK:

1: Pick Theme

2: Decorate Hall of Princes

3: Make dress

4: Guest list

5: Buy/wrap/organize gifts

NEXT WEEK:

6: Prepare food

7: Select music

8: Set up dance floor/strobe lights

"Wait, when the hell is this wedding?" Arrow asked.

"In two weeks." Larten answered calmly. "That's what Madam Octa wishes."

"Two weeks? Weddings take at least a year to plan!" the bald Vampire exclaimed. When everyone looked at him in alarm, he muttered bitterly "Trust me, I've been there." Nobody pushed the issue any farther than that.

"So, we've got two weeks to plan something that takes a year." said Darren cheerfully. "Can we do it?"

Mostly everyone said a passionate "No", but Darren didn't let that wipe the smile off his face. He was going to plan a wedding that would make Mr. Crepsley proud!

"I'm with you...Darren!" Harkat grinned. "Let's keep...Madam Octa happy!"

--

Darren had had an exhausting day attempting to decorate (but why the Hall had to be decorated two weeks in advance was a mystery to most.). It had went a little something like this: After picking the theme ("Sparkles", much to Kurda's delight) Madam Octa selected her wedding party: her Maid of Honour would be Seba, her Flower Girl would be Kurda, her Ring Bearer would be Darren, Larten would give her away, and her other bridesmaids were Mika, Arrow, and Paris, and lastly, Harkat filled the grand role of Minister.

Kurda had said (unsuprisingly): "Why can't I be Minister? They need someone attractive to stand on the thingy and say the stuff!

"I can just hear you marrying them, Kurda... "K, so I like, pronounce you and you to be, like, hooked! Now who wants to see me naked?" Arrow teased. Mika laughed and hi-fived Arrow. This made Kurda upset, so he kicked the wall, causing a huge painting of some old Vampire Princes to fall on Seba's head. Predictably, Seba screamed that the sky was falling and went to hide beneath Paris's throne. Unfortunately, he didn't quite fit, the throne tipped over on his attempts to crawl beneath. Somone had wisely laid a can of sparkly purple paint on the seat, which now covered Paris's throne. Kurda wanted to know why he couldn't have a sparkly throne, too. Mika pointed out that he didn't even have a throne, so Kurda decided to make one, turning half the Hall into his private construction site. Too bad he had no idea how to work power tools...

But that was only one problem.

Larten and Darren leaned a ridiculously huge ladder (100 feet, bought off eBay) against the wall to hang up some white feathery glitter wreaths. Turned out Darren was absolutely terrified at climb to the top, so Larten volunteered. As he was hanging the first of the 50 wreaths, One of Kurda's power tools exploded, leaving his hair and eyebrows singed. The smoking remains of the tool flew everywhere, and one tiny speck landed in the worst place possible: the sensetive eye of an orange-haired Vampire standing at the top of a very tall ladder. Mr. Crepsley screamed shrilly and lost his grip on the ladder,which came crashing down, leaving him clinging to the wreath. He hung for about one second before plummeting 100 feet to the floor along with the wreath.

He hit the ground with a THUNK. Darren screamed. Kurda shrieked. Mika said "HOLY SHIT!" Everyone crowded around the fallen Vampire. He didn't move. Harkat poked him

"Larten, are you all right?" Paris said loudly.

"I think he's sleeping." said Kurda wisely.

"Mr. Crepsley, wake up!" Darren wailed. The orange-haired mentor did not move. "Please?"

Harkat prodded him.

"He shouldn't be...dead, a vampire...could survive more...than a 100 foot drop!" the Little Person said matter-of-factly, causing Darren to burst into tears.

"But if he landed on his neck, he could be paralysed." Arrow added. Darren howled.

"Well, is he, like, breathing?" Kurda asked.

Harkat bent forward to check...

* * *

CLIFFHANGER!!

so long, suckers.

:) xoxo!

(shortest AN's in Roxypony history :O Remember this day.)


	3. Mr C's 3 C's

Sorry for the wait! But guess what... Roxypony is officially a National Champion! Yess, after a 12 hour drive with 15 people, 8 ponies, 2 busted transmissions (by FORDS), and a minor head injury (not on me), we made it to Kentucky and whipped some ass. My pony Rocky is officially the most famous Newfoundland Pony in existence. No lie. View videos and pics of this immenseness on my youtube account! (link on my profile)

**Starlight Nightmare **Your poor sister :P Thanks! :D xo

**Mrs. Crepsley **I grinned for 3 hours after i read that review. You people make my life beautiful. Thank you SO much. xo

**Peridot Tears **Thanks, I did have good luck it seems :D Ah well, someone else got the category added. But I am dissapointed that I didn't add it's first fic ever. but life goes on! xo

**Symphony of Terror** You shall soon find out ;) Larten-Flavrd V8!I'd drink that! Then again, I eat horse treats and eraser shavings and occasionally bits of wood. But I won't ever touch cheese. Hehe Thanks so much! xo

But, srsly, on to the motherfcking story already.

* * *

"He is breathing!" Harkat announced, much to the relief of Darren, who gave the Little Person a massive hug. The fallen Larten gave a groan.

"Uuuuuugggggggghhhhhhhhh...I think...I fractured...my skull."

"Nah, I've seen fractured skulls, and since we can't see your brains, I can tell you it's not fractured." said Arrow helpfully.

"Then I have...fractured...everything else."

"You talk like...me now" Harkat grinned. "And Darren...after the Hall...of Flames."

"Move over, Harkat, I'll see what he actually has fractured." said Paris professionally.

After a few minuites, much prodding, and multiple shrieks of pain from Larten, Paris determined that the orange haired Vampire had broken his arm, his ankle, three ribs, and sustained a concussion, not to mention an eye infection from the thing that had landed in it. A human (or a half-Vampire) wouldn't have survived the fall.

"Thanks for going up the ladder for me." Darren said quietly.

"Maybe this...will teach you...be honourable...and not...sacrifice others."

Darren frowned, but helped Mika and Arrow carry Mr. Crepsley up to Vampire Mountain's small hospital room.

Madam Octa did not seem to be overly concerned about mr. Crepsley's injury, but when Darren and Seba suggested to move the wedding two weeks ahead, she displayed actions that Darren referred to as "typical signs of agression or severe anger in spiders." So that was that, the wedding wasn't going to wait for Larten to recover, and the team would have to continue minus the Father of the Bride, Chief Planner, and Event Co-ordinator, all of which was Larten Crepsley.

"Okay, guys." Darren said tiredly at the end of the first day of preperations. "Good...um..._effort _for one day. We'll spend the next three days finishing up in the Hall. That will bring us up to next week, and the wedding will be a week from Monday. So this coming Saturday, I was thinking we'd start on the-"

"Why is the wedding on a Monday? Mondays _suck_!" Kurda whined.

"You suck." Mika grumbled.

"Mika, remember what I said about being tolerant of others." Paris lectured.

"What? I didn't say anything!" Mika exclaimed.

"Yes you did! You told Kurda he "sucked". Whatever that means."

"Oh did I? I guess it's just second nature to me now." the dark Vampire replied disinterestedly.

"Nature has birds." Kurda smiled. "Bird-printed pants are very _in _this spring."

"Nature brings around hippies!" Seba announced. "Hippies don't do anyone any good!"

"Hippies...are peaceful!" Harkat interjected.

"They sit around with their green stuff and their smokes and their big hair...what do you call those things?"

"Afros?"

"Hippies don't have afros, Disco people have afros." Arrow contributed.

"Hippies could have afros if they wanted to!" Seba snapped. "What do you have againts hippies?"

"How did this...conversation get started?" Harkat wanted to know.

"Mika said Kurda sucked."

"Now Mika, remember what I said about being tolerant of others." Paris lectured.

"Mmm, it's second nature." Mika replied.

"Nature has-" Kurda began.

"DON'T SAY BIRDS!" Darren yelled. Everyone looked up. "I mean...we should...Oh screw it, everyone go to bed!" he yelled in frustration.

Everyone was silent.

Until Seba asked conspiratorially if "_all_ Hippies have afros, or just _some_ Hippies?"

"You suck."

"Tolerance, Mika, tolerance!"

_A typical conversation_. Darren observed. _One vicious, never-ending circle._

He went to go check on Mr. Crepsley.

"Control, confidence, and charisma." Do you know the meaning of either of those words?"

"I...Yeah! How could I live with you and not know them?" Darren protested as his dear mentor lectured him.

Larten narrowed his eyes. "You may think you know the meaning, but you must show me that you can make those words work for you."

Darren sighed. You'd think it was his fault that Seba was being demented, Kurda was being disturbing, Mika was being moody, Arrow was being sarcastic, Paris was being Dr. Phil-ish, and Harkat was being overly helpful. Weddings were apparently not easy to plan.

"So I hereby promote you to Chief Planner and Event Coordinator." Larten stated.

Darren almost screamed. How could he be fully in charge of planning the wedding when he couldn't even handle helping out? He couldn't even communicate with the bride-to-be!

"Why?" was all he could sqeak out.

"I have just told you. You must learn control, confidence, and charisma." Mr. Crepsley said supremely.

Darren tried very hard not to scream.

"OK guys, so we all know our jobs, and we have everything we need, so tomorrow we're just gonna have some more big fun!" Darren said encouragingly to his team of wedding planners after dinner. As hard as he tried to be confident, controlling, and charismatic (Mr. Crepsley's 3 C's), nobody seemed to be extremely interested in paying attention to him. Currently, Mika and Arrow were having a Vortex tournament on their iPods. Harkat was standing in the fridge, pering curiously at the unidentified substance that had been discovered upon the return from the Ski Vacation. Kurda was reading the ingredients on the shampoo, and asking how each was pronounced. Paris was humming. Seba was punching buttons on his cell phone.

"So, um, get a good sleep, because we have lots to do tomorrow!" Darren said, faking perkiness. No one took notice.

"Bedtime!" No luck.

"First person in bed gets to use the Lime Green Sharpie for a whole day!"

The room was completely empty in 5 seconds flat.

_Note to self:_ _When all else fails, bribe._

Darren hoped he could find the Lime Green Sharpie.

* * *

I have nervous breakdowns if people touch my Lime Green Sharpie. Hopefully Darren doesn't!

Y'all know what to to! :) Hopefully it won't take me long to update. I think I'm finally getting back into the rhythem. But I also have to get some fics into the Flashpoint category. What an amazing show drools

And if I don't update fast enough, this fic MIGHT have to be put on hiatus so I can write TVF: Christmas Edition. I will absolutely not allow myself to not write a Festive DSS story. (But it won't be exactly like Christmas In Vampire Mountain by my dearest buddy ElenafromtheWoods! That would be stealing. But toy can be sure it will include plenty of glitter, tinsel, and ribbons!)

I'm gonna go to bed now.


	4. Ten Simple Rules

Life Lessons from Roxy: Lawn mowers do not make good ATV's. Nor do they handle muddy forest trails well. This I know. This I have experienced.

Maybe that took a little longer than nescessary... my apologies. I've been busy writing a fic for the new Flashpoint category...it's pretty good, if you've seen the show :)

**SylviaVail:** Thanks :D

**Elenafromthewoods: **ONLY ONE HOUR A DAY? THAT SUCKS! Yeah you have to come to Canada! We need a Vampire party xD hugglz

**Symphony-Of-Terror:** :P pennies, huh? I dont think ive done that (yet). I would LOVE to write a Halloween addition, and I'll try my best to make time! Damn school... I should have written more than 3 chapters this summer...I suck!

**The-Daughter-Of-Evil: **Rofl. Poor sister xD Youre hilarious!

lyrics at the beginning belong to the Pussycat Dolls. Eek. I dont actually like the song, it's used for Kurda purposes only.

* * *

_"When I grow up, I wanna be famous, I wanna be a star, I wanna be in movies!  
When I grow up, I wanna see the world, Drive nice cars, I wanna have Groupies!  
When I grow up, Be on TV, People know me, Be on magazines!  
When I grow up, Fresh and clean, Number one chick when I step out on the scene !"_

Needless to say, Kurda Smahlt had taken center stage in the Hall of Princes and was jamming along with his hot pink iPod.

Darren groaned. For the past 3 hours, 6 Vampires had been fighting tooth and nail for control of the iPod stereo. The radically choppy mix of Mika's rock, Kurda's pop, Harkat's techno, Paris's classic country, and Seba's shrieks of complaint were giving him a splitting headache.

"Guys, focus!" Darren yelled desperately for the twenty-seventh (he'd counted) time that day.

"Sorry Darren!" Harkat called nicely from atop a ladder. He had been flicking plastic flowers at Seba, but to humour Darren, he discontinued flicking and resumed arranging them sweetly on the wall and taping them in place.

"I do not trust those plastic flowers." Seba grumbled. "All plastic and...plasticky! Plastic...who invented plastic anyway? Some low-life human, no doubt. Unemployed, most likely. And the he got rich off stupid fake stuff! WHAT is this world coming to?"

"Seba, shut up and paint." Darren growled impatiently. He didn't bother to stick around for Seba's complaints about being ordered around by a kid Vampire. He went over to where Mika, Arow and Kurda were supposed to be constructing a stage where the spiders would stand as they were married. Mika and Arrow had a fairly good start on the stage, but Kurda was completely incapable of hitting the nails with the hammer.

"OK Kurda, I'm not going to explain this again." Arrow clarified. "You hold the nail. You hit the nail with the hammer untill it's all the way in the wood and you can't see it anymore. Like this."

He picked up the nail, pressed the tip into the wood, and brough the hammer down on it, driving it into the wood with a single hit. Kurda looked astounded.

"Your turn" said Arrow, handing him a hammer and nail and stepping safely out of the way. Kurda held the nail against the wood and picked up the hammer shakily.

_Smack._

He brought the hammer down on the wood, an inch away from the nail. He looked to Mika and Arrow for support.

Arrow had clearly been expecting nothing less. "Do it again."

The blond lifted the hammer and brought it down dead straight on the nail. But there was one problem: his thumb was in between the hammer and the nail.

To say that he screamed would have been an understatment. Harkat fell off his ladder (pulling the flowers down with him), Darren dropped his clipboard, Seba was so startled he forgot to complain, Paris flung a paintbrush (covered in electric blue sparkles) into the air, and several floors up from the Hall of Princes, Larten woke up from a nap. Arrow and Mika had seen this coming, so they simply plugged their ears, but Mika let out a scream of his own when Paris's paintbrush landed on his head.

10 minuites later, Darren was standing in front of Larten, holding Kurda (nursing a bruised thumb) and Mika (with sparkly blue hair). Darren had removed them from the Hall after disrupting the decorating (Kurda by screaming and Mika by attempting to kill Paris).

"Don't make me say it, Darren." sighed Larten. "I am not the disciplinary here, I am on my sick bed, so deal with these two on your own."

Darren took a moment to decide whether ot not to complain, but decided against it due to sympathy for Larten.

"Well, we have a hell of a lot to do before the wedding, so I guess we'll need the two of you to help out. But BEHAVE." Darren said without his usual enthusiasm. Kurda squealed with delight. Mika glared. Darren marched them back to the hall.

After turning off Kurda's iPod and hiding it under Mika's throne, Darren took center stage to make an announcment. In his hands, he held a scroll.

"Alright everyone, we need to have a little talk." said the half-Vampire as threateningly as possible. "We have 10 days to prepare for the first and last wedding to ever be held in our beloved home. If we want to make this work, you need to be controlled, I need to be charismatic, and we all need to be confident. But not too confident!" He added quickly as Kurda started to do a hip-hop dance.

"I'm going to lay down our new rules." Darren continued, over a wave of fresh complaints. "Number one: Indoor voices only while decorating!"

"Do we look like children to you?" Arrow growled.

"Not you, yourself, Arrow, but not everyone is lucky enough to be as adult as you." said Darren confidently and charismatically, causing the bald Prince to grin proudly. He hoped Larten would have appreciated his use of 2 of the 3 C's in a single sentence. He continued:

"Number two: Absolutely NO throwing of ANY object."

"Define "Any object"". said Mika sneakily.

Darren hesitated, but then confidently replied:

"iPods, stereos, clocks, both digital and the, um, ticky type, pens, markers, painbrushes, whether or not they contain paint, cans of paint, books, boxes, decorations in any way, shape, or form, chairs, tables, other Vampires, Little People, miscellaneous food items, stuff that you shouldn't classify as food but do anyway, cameras, ribbons, confetties, staplers, glitter glue, scented or non-scented highlighters-"

"Ok I get it...No throwing." grumbled Mika, sounding preturbed.

"Number two: There is to be absolutely NO leaving your work station, unless you have authorized permission from me.

Number three: If you have any questions about the colour scheme, where to place the decorations, or what exactly a wedding _is, _refer to this month's issue of 21st Century Brides.

Number four: Decorative Scotch Mints are to be eaten ONLY. Inserting them into your nose, ears, or any bodily opening other than your mouth is strictly prohibited.

Number five: For insurance purposes, climbing ladders without safety gear is strictly forbidden.

Number six: G-Rated language ONLY is to be used within the work space.

Number seven: If by any chance you feel tired, help yourself to an energy drink, located in the cooler at the left of the thrones. (But NOT now!) After consuming the beverage, please continue working.

Number eight: Working hours are from 9 till 9. No exceptions.

Number nine: Failiure to comply with the rules will result in loss of priveleges, such as food.

Number ten: If loss of priveleges doesn't work, failiure to comply will result in a one-way ticket to Mr. Crepsley.

Are we clear?" Darren finished dramatically, feeling more confident, charismatic, and controlling than ever.

The only Vampire to comment was Seba:

"I do not agree with rule number four."

* * *

BREAKING NEWS BREAKING NEW BREAKING NEWS BREAKING NEWS BREAKING NEWS

I, Roxypony, officially pronounce TVF2: Larten Creplsey, Father of the Bride, to be **on** **hiatus**, so that I can start writing the Christmas Edition in time for Christmas. I'm sorry I had to do this, but I think itll be worth it, cuz Ive got something really special planned for Christmas! I'll resume here ASAP. And if i have extra time on my hands, I might even be able to post chap 5 before Xmas.

So, be happy, watch Flashpoint, and wait patiently for the first installment of my yet to be named Special Christmas Edition!

kiss kiss, Roxypony


	5. More Feathery Wreaths and Fashion Issues

I updated. Holy fuck on a stick, I updated.

I need to break myself of my terrible habit of making excuses for lateness, but let me first say that I've honestly been quite busy lately. First, the pre-Christmas writing crunch burned me out, so I took a break, then did some stuff with the Flashpoint fandom, then started this chap, then started another Flashpoint story. And of course I had exams and a whole bunch of end-of-semester crap, and on top of that, I' still trying to keep my rodeo horse in shape for the summer, and trying to qualify for a show over the March break (but I made it, whee!) Now I have a much easier semester so hopefully more time? Pretty plz?

The I re-read all of TVF stuff, had a motherfucking epiphany, and finished this.

* * *

Days till wedding: 7

****

Task: Cake Construction

Location: Kitchen:

"Mika, Are those peach rings? You didn't tell me we had peach rings! _I want a peach ring!"_

"Kurda, you officially have one second to stop pulling my arm before I kill you."

"Mika, just give him a peach ring so he'll leave us alone and we can finish the cake."

"Yeahh! Puh-leaaaaaaaaaaaase?"

_"No!"_

"Why?"

"Because they're _mine_!"

"Mika, think about the consequences of your actions. If you do not consent to providing Kurda with a peach ring, he will most likely report his situation to our supervisor. And if that happens, there is a good chance that we will be reported to Mr. Creplsey. And he is apt to give us a less desirable task than cake creation, so if the sacrifice of a single peach ring will keep us out of the construction room, I would reccomend consenting to his needs." said Paris diplomatically.

Mika made a noise that could have come from a tiger at the dentist's. He pulled a peach ring from the container, and whipped it at Kurda's head, from which it bounced off. Kurda happily bent down, grabbed it off the floor, and retreated from the kitchen at top speed.

Location: Larten's room

Task: Dress Fitting

"Please tell me this is not the final product." Larten growled from his bed as his bones slowly mended.

Darren whimpered something incomprehensible.

"Madame Octa requested a halter neckline, Darren. Do you even know what that means?"

"No." Darren sighed. He had toiled all night, gone through 3 energy drinks, and probably wrecked his eyes to sew together a spider-sized wedding dress, only to suffer the displeasure of both the bride-to-be and her caretaker.

"Neither do I." Larten added bitterly, to Darren's suprise. He had no idea his mentor was capable of not knowing something.

"Can she...describe to us what she wants?"

"She said "halter neckline". I do not think it would be wise to trouble her any further."

Darren frowned. "We need someone who really _knows_ this sort of stuff."

"Someone who has every issue of Teen Vogue under his coffin."

"The only living organism in a 500 mile radius who owns a hair straightener."

"It's Kurda time."

Several text messages later, the infamous blonde came cruising into the fitting room.

"Did someone call for assistance from the style master?"

"Yeah...what's an...um...halter neckline?" Darren felt incredibly hopeless asking the Style Master for advice.

"Well." Kurda began, giving Darren the feeling that he was in for a lecture. "There are several types of halter necklines. Many halter dresses have a tie or clasp behind the neck. Other halter dresses have a knot front. The straps on halter dresses can be soft and wide or spaghetti thin. The latest halter dresses feature the cutaway halter neckline. The halter is set with a narrow or wide band on a circular yoke. The wide band on cutaway halter dresses is usually embellished with sequins, embroidery or stones." he recited in one breath.

"Why did you not utilise the words "like" or "totally", etcetera in that speech?" Larten inquired curiously.

"I like, memorized a paragraph on page 47 of the May 08 issue of Teen Vogue! I didn't know where I coulda put them."

"I see..."

Location: Hall of Princes

Task: Feathery Wreath-Hanging

"Higher!"

"Lower, dammit!"

"Don't listen to him! Make it higher!"

"A little to the left!"

"NO, higher, and a LOT to the right!"

"Lower to the left!"

"I SAID HIGHER!"

"That thing is an abomination. An abomination that has to be moved lower and to the left!"

At this point, Arrow tackled Seba. They fell to the ground in a writhing heap, with Arrow's hand's covering Seba's face, so Harkat (atop the famous giant ladder) couldn't hear him.

"Okay Harkat, unless you want that ladder smashed out from under you, put it higher and 5 inches to the right." Arrow growled viciously.

"Arrow, what is...wrong?" Harkat called down nervously. As the wedding plans progressed, the Prince's mood had gotten worse and worse.

"THAT DAMN WREATH NEEDS TO BE MOVED HIGHER AND TO THE RIGHT, THAT'S WHAT'S WRONG!" he bellowed at the top of his lungs.

Harkat moved the wreath accordingly (one down, 49 more to go), and decided he would talk to Darren about Arrow's rotten mood later. Arrow always had an moody streak, but this was getting ridiculous.

After all, a Vampire Mountain wedding couldn't get much more fun.

* * *

It was short. I'm sorry. I just really wanted to post something.

Cookies for anyone who can guess what's pissing Arrow off so much!!

--------  
*Roxxy,  
How do you stay so fresh?  
I think cool thoughts.  
--------


	6. Darren, We Have A Problem

So I haven't updated in a while. I'd love to say that I've been busy getting 99% in all my classes, working on other, better fics, and saving the world, but the reality is, I'm just lazy.

For those of you who guessed what was pissing Arrow off, good job. He misses his wife and all this wedding talk hurts like a bitch. Poor guy. Cookies going out to **vampires-pen **and** -crepsley.0**.

It's almost 1 in the morning and I wasn't planning on staying up and posting anything tonight, yet here I am. Funny how I get about 2 sentences written when I have long lazy days off, yet I do the majority of my updating in odd hours of the night when I have early-morning show prep the next day...seems that's just how the cookie crumbles. So let's just get on with it.

* * *

"They see me rollin', they hatin', they hopin that they gon' catch me ridin' dirty..." Darren mumbled under his breath as he stuffed a boquet of flowers that was almost as wide as him into a vase that was almost as tall as him.

"I do not think...that is an...ideal choice...for a wedding song, Darren." Harkat remarked as he wrestled another batch of flowers into another obtrusively large vase.

"I like that song." Darren grunted as he stuffed in the last of the heinous white roses. "It reminds me of happier times."

"I know, but...we have to...stay on task. Remember what will...happen if we...don't? Remember what..Mr. Crepsley said?"

"Don't even start, Harkat!" Darren snapped, alarming the Little Person. "You've been the only living organism in this mountain who isn't driving me out of my head with this wedding stuff so far, so please, just let me feel like everything's normal again...for now."

"I know what...you're thinking." Harkat admitted. "We are all getting...a little bit...screwy, I guess. Screwy would be...the word I...would use."

"Agreed." Darren grunted, grabbing another armload of flowers. He thrust it roughly into the last of the vases, and stepped back to admire his handiwork. The wedding stage was completely bedecked with flowerful vases, tall candlesticks, sacks of flower petals waiting to be thrown (by Kurda), a elegant wooden archway draped with white satin curtains, and a little pedestal where Madam Octa and the Grey Spider would officially tie the knot.

Harkat joined Darren as they observed the set-up.

"And we call ourselves Vampires." Darren commented.

"I don't." Harkat chuckled.

Darren was spared answering as the door to the Hall of Princes came crashing open.

"DARREN SHAN, YOU BETTER HAVE AN EXCELLENT REASON FOR THIS!" a shrieking voice interrupted their musings. The junior Vampire and the Little Person did a double-take.

"Oh no..." Darren whimpered. "He's mobilized!"

I want...one of those!" Harkat exclaimed, wide-eyed.

Larten Crepsley was careening into the hall. In a bright red wheelchair. Pushed by Kurda.

"Well? I require an explanation!" the mentor screamed ragefully.

"To what?" Darren yelped, holding Harkat up like a bullet shield.

"Honestly Darren. Even you cannot be so irresponsible. Madam Octa requested to have her shower party tonight, and absolutely zero preparations have been made! You have been aware of this for over a week!"

"I have?"

"YES you bumbling human! We had a meeting about this exactly 8 days and 4 hours ago!"

"That's the one where you were sleeping" Harkat pointed out helpfully.

Darren thought quickly. He was good at that. It was a skill required for day-to-day aversion of disaster

"Um...I have an idea?" he proclaimed after 2.7 seconds of mental brainstorming.

Larten arched an orange eyebrow. Darren proceeded.

"We could have it...the day after tomorrow?" he suggested with a profound lack of control, confidence, and charisma.

"I have a better idea, Darren." his mentor replied in the iciest of tones. "Begin making arrangements, because the bridal shower starts in 3 and a half hours."

Darren assumed the facial expression of a dying fish. Harkat produced his lime green phone and began to spread the word via text message:

_All hands on deck. We're screwed. Thank Darren._

7.5 minuites later (which is currently the gang's fastest time for emergency gathering) everyone (with the exception of Larten who had been wheelchaired back to his room to continue recovering free from stress and Darren) was collected in the front of the hall of Princes, being assigned respective tasks, yet again.

"Okay guys, I know this is really short notice, even by my standards, and you're all blaming me for this." Darren began his usual I-need-your-cooperation speech.

"I'm not...blaming you." said Harkat with love.

"I am." Mika glared.

"Weddings suck." Arrow contributed.

"When I was your age, we did not fritter away valuable time on abominative festivities, we got the wedding over in half an hour and went back to our daily lives and continued being productive." Seba felt compelled to add.

"I simply want this over with." said Paris. "And I blame Darren."

"Am I invited to the party?" was all Kurda wanted to know.

"So this is the plan." Darren continued. "Paris, Mika, and Kurda, we need food. A whole lot of food. Some of it has to be spider-friendly."

"And do not forget...the lime green...and hot pink...Vex." said Harkat helpfully. "Madam Octa...requested those flavours...personally. I _was_ awake at the planning meeting."

"Spiders like Vex. Who knew. Next item! The D-word!" Darren continued with slightly more 3 C's.

Everyone looked completely stumped.

"D-word....um....Darren?" Kurda ventured a guess.

"Close enough. DECORATIONS!" he yelled, pumping his fist into the air. The only living soul who shared his enthusiasm was, quite obviously, a certain stereotypical blonde. "This one's going to be in the hall of Khledon Lurt, not the Hall of Princes. We're not taking any chances on messing the wedding stuff up. We're going to need lime green and hot pink streamers, balloons, tablecloths, confetti, whatever you can find. Arrow, Seba, and Harkat, this is your department. I'll be preparing the music table. Go!"

His spectacular conclusion brought forth less enthusiasm than he hoped.

"Did I mention Mr. Crepsley will personally slaughter every single one of us if this party doesn't turn out perfectly?"

The troops mobilized and began to move towards their work stations, but they still weren't moving fast enough for Darren's satisfaction...

"Whoever is the most helpful gets unlimited Escalade shotgun privleges for a whole month!"

The room was clear in 3.2 seconds.

* * *

Mmmmm Vex...that's some good stuff. So are Escalades. My mommy is considering getting an Escalade...I'll have to try reeeeal hard not to sign the Vampire's names on the back of the front seat in hot pink sharpie. Maaaan now I wanna go back and read the whole TVF series from start to finish!! Looks like I have plans for tomorrow.

I'm not going to promise any updates any time soon, and see if that helps me go any faster. Reverse phsycology, you see. Well I'm off to have a cupcake, then off to bed. About frikkin time.

Well folks I'm officially too tired to come up with anything more interesting to say, so this is where we part. Good night or good morning or good whatever friggin time it is in your country!!!

:)

--------  
How do you stay so fresh?  
I think cool thoughts.  
*Roxxy,  
--------


	7. Drunken Uncles and Conga Lines

So I know I havent updated in forever, and if you still remember who I am, you probably want to kill me. But before you do, read my nice long update. :)

**Peridot Tears:** Late people rock, dontcha know!! Thanks :)

**h**: Thankyah :)

**Akatsuki Child: **Wow, awesome like a hippo!! You've sure set some high standards for the future...Thankie :)

**Symphony of Terror:** Haaaaaaaaaay I'm not lazy I'm just....preoccupied?? Overworked?? Actually..no..lazy would be the word. :) I love angry crippled Larten too. Thanks for the revieew :)

**Vampires Pen:** enjoy hun :)

**Pooey Pink Putrified Panther:** i love your name...enjoy ;D

I dont own "Boom Boom Pow" by Black Eyed Peas (oh well) the Jonas Brothers (THANK GOD!) any of the beverages i mentioned, "Why Not" by Hilary Duff (again, THANK GOD), Cadillac Escalades (Dodge is better anyway), or "Ridin Dirty" by Chamillionaire (meh)!!

Okie yall i'm done talking here ;D

* * *

Darren has seen a lot of scary things in his life. Freak shows, boy-eating Wolfmen, mad Vampaneze, deranged bears and boars, Trials of Death, Pits of Stakes, you name it, he's seen it. But one horrible night, he found himself staring at something too frightening to possibly put into words.

It wasn't Kurda doing a table dance while holding a hot pink drink.

It wasn't the Guardians of the Blood forming a Conga line

It wasn't a colony of spiders "dancing" with one another.

It wasn't Seba and Harkat mixing every liquid they could find, (alcohol, blood, chocolate milk, and everything in between) and chugging them faster than you could flit.

It wasn't Crazy Uncle Vancha bursting into the Hall unannounced. (Although what wedding would be complete without the drunken uncle?)

It wasn't "Boom Boom Pow" blasting over the stereo (song selected by a certain stereotypical blonde).

It wasn't half a clan of Vampires doing party-type things under the same roof.

It was all of these things plus more. So much freakin' more.

*

"What's Vancha doing here?" Darren groaned as he was almost trampled by a horde of Generals rushing to greet the green-haired newcomer. "He shouldn't be here, there's always supposed to be one Prince away from the mountain, just in case-"

"-the party gets...out of hand?" Harkat finished his sentence.

"Well yeah!" Darren said in furstration.

"Mr. Crespsley, did you see-"

"Nooooo Dah...dah...daaar...uhhhh dear, I seem to has misplaced you...your..."

"Mr. Crepsley, it's me Darren!" he groaned. Despite his constant preachings on the importance of sobriety, it seemed the orange-haired Vampire had been taking full advantage of the open bar at the other end of the hall. Guests could choose from giant fridges stocked with dozens of types of beer, wine, fruity drinks, blood (both in the diet and original varieties), all sorts of juice boxes, great jugs of chocolate milk, and a whole seperate fridge full of fruit and whipped cream for topping drinks. (And there was a container of little cocktail umbrellas on the counter, placed by Kurda.) On the plus side, Mr. Crepsley had been satisfied with the set-up of the bar, Darren had been able to set it up in less than an hour due to Mika and Arrow's knowledge and skill at such things. On the down side, he owed them big for agreeing to share their secret supply of party drinks. On the downer side, the supply of beverages seemed to be endless, and of course endess drinks tend to wreak havoc, no matter how strong one's metabolism is. The party had only been raging for an hour, but there were already several Vampires passed out on the floor, and even more running wild throughout the Mountain.

"Never mind!" Darren growled, bypassing the inebriated Larten. If something happened and all 5 Princes died leaving nobody in charge, it wasn't Darren's problem. He opted to take a seat next to Mika and Arrow, who were working the door prize table. Door prizes were a common occurrance at human wedding parties, but it was a new concept to the Undead population, who were having a fabulous time buying as many tickets as they could and distributing them in their respective containers in hopes of winning some of the spectacular prizes that had been ordered on eBay.

"How's it goin?" Darren asked redundantly as he sat on the prize table between a giant package of designer underwear and a bright orange wheelbarrlow filled with beach accessories. _This must be Kurda's corner,_ Darren guessed.

"I seriously hate parties." Arrow grunted.

"You had fun at the Festival of the Undead!" Darren contradicted.

"That was a traditional Vampire celebration, not a laughable human fling."

"True." Darren admitted.

"This thing is almost over, right?" Mika added.

"It's going to continue late into the day, actually." Darren answered politely.

Mika made a signature Unimpressed-Mika noise. Arrow gave Darren a look of pure irritability and walked away.

"What's his problem these days?" Darren snorted, "His attitude sucks even more than usual."

"I figured it would be obvious for a smart boy like you, Darren." Mika replied with arched eyebrows.

A mob of hyperactive partygoers dropping tickets prevented Darren from answering. In all honesty, he had no idea, so he moved on, resolving to worry about Arrow later.

His feet carried him over to the snack table, where Harkat, Paris, and Seba were making sure guests didn't take the entire vat of bat broth or the entire barbecue of meat.

"I do not approve of this mixing our traditional staple foods with this abominative electric-fired-powered-dead-animal-roaster!" Seba squawked as soon as Darren was within earshot, meaning he didn't like how the Vampire food and the human food were in such close proximity to each other.

"I do not...mind the barbecue." said Harkat, opening and closing the lid to examine the slowly roasting hot dogs, burgers, and steaks. "I can almost...imagine what they...taste like."

Darren selected a juicy hotdog and placed it carefully in the bun (earning a suspicious glance from Seba, who had never seen a hotdog) and topped it with his old-fashioned human favourite toppings. Immediately he was immersed in distant memories from his human life, running around the backyard with his sister and friends at family barbecues...

But he swallowed the bite of hotdog and the memories dissapeared along with it. In place of his old friends, he now had Harkat, Larten, Mika, Arrow, Paris, and Seba, and in place of his sister, he had Kurda. He even had a per spider again...only the thing was getting married.

"Darren, I would like...very much to try...a bite of the...hotdog." Harkat announced, picking a 'dog and placing it in the bun as Darren had, and proceeding to pile on as many toppings that would fit, as though if he added enough flavour, he might actually be able to taste something.

"I like...hotdogs." he reported several seconds and bites later. "Better texture than...dead animals."

"But dogs are Vampire's natural enemies!" Seba wailed, trying (and failing) to rip the hotdog from Darren's fists. "Their blood is poisonous! You are condemning yourself to a miserable dishonourable and abominative downfall!"

"Seba, Seba Seba!" Darren intervened. "It's not a dog. It's...I dunno exactly," Darren admitted, "but it's definitley not dog...I think." he made a mental note to google that query later, what the heck are hotdogs made of? But for now, he decided to move on again, before Seba could find out that Darren had replaced his coffee with chocolate milk.

He moved slowly through the crowd, on the lookout for Mr. Crepsley. If his mentor had sobered up, Darren could ask him how Madam Octa wanted the wedding gifts arranged. And if he hadn't sobered up, Darren would have to make sure he didn't come to any harm. He felt somthing slam against his leg, and looked down to see a rather large Vampire General appearing to have a seizure. However, a secound glance revealed that he was actually doing the worm. To his right, two Guardians of the Blood were dancing in a way that made Kurda's moves look normal. To his left, on the stage...was the happy couple themselves, Madam Octa and her fiancee of an unknown name. They had their forlegs on each others shoulders and were shaking and jumping around in a disturbing yet oddly charming manner. They were actually moving to the beat of the music, which was -Darren took a moment to listen more carefully- "Why Not" by Hilary Duff!

"Kurdaaaaaaaa...." Darren groaned, changing his course so he could get to the table where the iPod stereo was stationed. This party playlist needed to be revised, fast. Luckily, nobody present seemed to have a clue who Hilary Duff was. Had they known, Darren would be at the bottom of the Pit of Stakes by now. But by the time he reached the stereo, Mika had already resolved the situation, choosing a rocky dance song, which was far more appropriate for a spider wedding party. Leaving Darren in the clear to continue his search for his mentor. He browsed the Hall of Princes, aka Party Central for almost half an hour, revealing no sign of Larten. What he did find was Harkat and Vancha crowd surfing and having a great time, Kurda trying to crowd surf with less success, Seba stumbling around from caffeine withdrawl, and Mika and Paris leading the conga line, which now included 80% of the crowd.

He left the Hall to continue his search more extensively, partly because the giant pile of gifts couldn't just stay in the Hall permanently, partly because he genuinely wanted to make sure Mr. Crepsley was indeed in one piece, partly because he wanted to inquire about Arrow, and partly because he just missed the orange-haired Vampire's prescence, however controlling, confident, and charismatic it may be.

A sweep of the kitchen revealed no Larten, although several couples of Guardians of the Blood were using it as a make-out room. Eek. His next destination was the living room, where his DVD collection was being ransacked. The room contained no Larten, but Darren was careful to evacuate his collection of Family Guy DVDs before contiuing on his way. However, he had no more luck as he scoured all the major hallways, some smaller ones, and all the bathrooms. Finally figuring his mentor must have gone sensibly to bed, he made his way up to the highest chambers in the mountain to make sure Mr. Crepsley was nestled all snug in his coffin with images of spider wedding dresses dancing in his orange-haired head. But as he creaked open the coffin lid, preparing to be met with a barrage of angry complaints, it seemed he was indeed mistaken, and the inebriated Larten Crepsley was still at large in the Mountain.

Deciding that his mentor must be moving around through the Mountain and they just kept missing each other, Darren decided to head down to the Essie Chamber, where the infamous ivory white Cadillac Escalade was stored. Partly to see if Karten was using the vehicle as a hideout, and partly because he felt like reclining in the driver's seat, blasting "Ridin' Dirty", and letting memories wash over him, or some nice cheesy thing of that nature.

He picked his way slowly through the halls of the Mountain, it seemed the party had spilled out of the Hall of Princes and was officially out of control. He resloved to agonize about the clean-up procedure later. He was stopped several times on his quest, once to wait for the Guardians of Blood's Conga line to pass, once to point Seba in the direction of the restroom, once to greet Crazy Old Long-Lost Uncle Vancha who wanted a hug, once to get a tiny glass of champagne for Madam Octa and her man to share, once to rescue Kurda from being wiped off the face of the earth by Mika after playing a Jonas Brothers song.

When Darren finally reached the Essie, a quick scan revealed that no one was sitting in the driver's seat, but when he climbed behind the wheel, he saw that the front passenger seat was leaned back as far as it could go so nobody could see it from outside the vehicle. And in the seat lay...

"_Arrow?_"

The moody, bald Prince was holding an old-looking photo, and staring blankly at the ceiling.

"Darren." he answered, sitting up and looking slightly guilty. "Sorry...I thought Mika had the drinks table under control, and I didn't think there was anything else to be done, so I had to come down here and um...think."

"Who's that in the picture?" Darren blurted out suddenly, immediately regretting it when he saw Arrow's eyes suddenly became very dark, look like they'd seen more than anyone should be forced to see. "I mean, um, sorry?" he squeaked nervously, knowing full well that if Arrow decided to take him out here and now, his body wouldn't be found for weeks. Plus, there would be bloodstains on the Essie!

"I guess nobody's told you about this, huh Darren?" Arrow said dejectedly. "But you had to find out sometime. She's my wife."

"The one that got killed by Vampaneze?" Darren blurted out again, instantly giving himself a mental smack that would have come from Mr. Crepsley, had he been present.

"That would be the one." the older Prince confirmed with a desolate expression.

Darren looked at his feet. Arrow heaved a long sigh. All was quiet for a good five minuites.

"I'm sorry." Darren broke the silence finally.

"So am I." Arrow replied stonily. "In over almost 100 years, haven't gotten over it, and I'm letting my personal feeling impact upon important matters, even if it's only a spider wedding...As a Prince, it is my duty to put the needs of my clan and their spiders before my own emotions."

Darren knew Arrow meant what he said, but there was an undeniable emptiness in the words.

"What was your wedding like?" he ventured a question after another long period of silence. To his suprise and relief, Arrow smiled slightly.

"It was simple but unforgettable." he explained wistfully. "It was on a beach on the North shore, with only her and me, the priest, her family, a few of her friends...and Mika." he added with a smile. Darren couldn't help but smile too at the thought of Mika being a Best Man.

"And her dress...the only thing I remember as well as her face...it was the only thing I saved, after...the attack." he shivered slightly as he said this.

Darren couldn't meet the other Prince's eyes, and they lapsed into another long silence, until Arrow whispered,

"I miss her more than anyone knows."

"You should talk about her." Darren suggested honestly. "It helps." he added, recalling the times he'd stayed up late with Evra or Mr. Crepsley, discussing his old home and family, and his lost friend Sam Grest.

"It is not my duty as a Prince to share my innermost feelings with my clan. To serve, guide, lead, and protect is our goal. Not to talk about stuff that actually matters." he replied bitterly.

"What if you talked to us as your friends and family, instead of as your clan?"

Arrow looked Darren in the eye, long and hard.

"You might be suprised at who might understand exactly how you feel." Darren encouraged.

"You think like a human, young Shan." Arrow commented.

"Damn proud of it!" Darren snorted.

Arrow cracked a typical Arrow-smile: slightly moody, yet radiating loyalty and frienship. Then he pressed the PLAY button on the Essie's stereo, and leaned back in his seat and pulled his sunglasses down over his eyes. Darren did the same.

_They see me rollin', They hatin', Patrollin' and tryna catch me ridin dirty, tryna catch me ridin dirty..._

_

* * *

_Maybe that was worth the wait? at least it was longish by my standards... Hope ya likied. And if you havent read my other TVF fics, Vampires on Vacation or A Vampire Mountain Christmas Carol, checkk emmm outt!

And yeah i brought Vancha in. But dont get your hopes up on him sticking around after the wedding. As you can tell, i'm not a fan...greenhaired freetard...

and omfg sweet i got an app on my iPod that allows me to read all 12 DSS books where/whenever the hecks i want! Nice. Just puttin it out there.

CAN SOMEONE LET ME KNOW WHO'S HUG MONTH WE'RE IN RIGHT NOW???? I forgotz. ;D and does anyone remember where i posted the calendar way back in the day?

--------  
*Roxxy,  
How do you stay so fresh?  
I think cool thoughts.  
--------


	8. The Calm Before The Fail

[insert trippy newscast theme music]

**VAMPIRE MOUNTAIN NEWSWATCH**

Larten: Looks like our weatherforeast for this afternoon is 100% chance of updates, with probabilities of laughs, and possibly some scattered attacks on Roxy for lateness. Now back to our main news station with news anchor Harkat Mulds!

Harkat: Thanks Larten...we have been notified by...Roxypony that she...does not wish to...make an appearance...at today's update...for fear of being...beaten to death by...impatient readers...however she sends...her apologies and her love!

Mika: In other news, Roxy wishes to inform readers that the following will be the 3rd-last chapter of _Larten_ _Crepsley, Father of the Bride_, if all goes according to plan. On behalf of Vampire Mountain Newswatch, we extened our sincerest congratulations to Madam Octa and Scary Grey Spider.

Kurda: We now go live to other recent breaking news!!

Darren: As you know, the third installation in _The Vampire Files _is nearly completed, our current chapter, #7, is reported to be medium in length, and Roxy is currently planning for a fourth edition, in which the Vampire gang -HEY, that's US!- experience the ups and downs of a human-style summer vacation! Roxy is currently welcoming suggestions for this edition, although she is making no promises about actually using any! Back to your, Mr. Mulds!

Harkat: Thanks...Darren. In other news...we are currently...celebrating Hug Paris...Month, so give the...old guy some love! Also Roxy wishes...everyone a happy belated Canada Day...and for our friends to the south, a happy belated Independance...Day! We now turn this...broadcast over to a...spokesperson directly from...Roxypony Studios.

Arrow: Thanks Mulds. On behalf of Roxypony Studios International, it is my sad duty to inform you that although Roxy has been busy, she has not been _that _busy, it is Summer Vacation after all, and as usual she promises to work harder, because she can honestly write a good chapter in one and a half hours. She is, however, also working on several Flashpoint fics, but is trying not to allow them to take precedence over the TVF series. In closing, she wishes to communicate the following messages to beloved reviewers:

**xoxoLostAngelCakexoxo **Hey we were all newbies at some point right? dude that means so much to me :) thanks.

**Peridot Tears **good ol PT, youve been with me from the start of TVF. So i found Larten just for you! And he's in one piece too!

**Alice Swan** Thanks that made me smile :) but i gotta say i aint gonna change Kurda's character the way ive got it ;D

**Reiya Sumeragi **thankssssa ;D Kurda is just...Kurda. There's no other word. But i aint gonna lie, I've made him just about OOC as it can get :)

**Symphony of Terror **if HD and the JBros just got married and died, wouldnt that just be a picnic? (no sarcasm intended, im being deadly honest.) i like drunk Larten too :)

**xXAFanatic09Xx **Vancha is here by popular demand...at least he was in popular demand last year when i was writing TVF#1:VOV but i just didn't provide him...yeah...Soon...i had to look that one up, but i think i got it figured out...we'll see.

**vampires-pen **someday i'll get really bored and go back and fix every typo ive ever ever done...thanks ;D

**15th burning fiddle **man thanks so much for the calender, i had noo idea where it was! was that my old one or did you create your own? it sounds like mine, but if its not, its still the official one now! Imma try real hard to finish Onyx. Promise. :)

And that's all we have from Roxypony Studios International at the moment, back to the main studio to wrap up today's broadcast!

Darren: Finally, we would like to add that we do not own the songs "Shooting Star" by Young Boss, "Bigger Than Us" by Miley Cyrus, "Love Story" by Taylor Swift, "Sweet Thing" by Keith Urban, "Far Away" by Nickelback, or "I Wanna Have Your Babies" by Natasha Bedingfield. From all of us here at Vampire Mountain Newswatch, we wish you happy reading and an excellent summer!

[insert trippy newscast theme music]

* * *

You've probably heard the expression "The calm before the storm." and if you haven't, it's quite self-explanatory. In this situation, "the calm" took place on the evening before the wedding. The Calm included Kurda splayed out on the floor listening to his iPod with earbuds, for once, so as not to unleash the wrath of Mika. Larten had thankfully sobered up, and was creating a large poster covered with all kinds of pictures of Madam Octa, from her hairy spider childhood to her last days in the Cirque Du Freak. Seba had been given a task to keep hmiself occupied: roll out a long red carpet down the middle of the Hall of Princes for the couple to walk down. Harkat was starting to set up some of the chairs in straight, easily accesssible rows, every so often reminding Seba not to rearrange them. Paris, Mika and Arrow were constructing a massive cake. (For obvious reasons, Seba and Kurda were restricted from accessing the kitchen at this point.) From what Darren had heard, it was going to be 8 stories tall, complete with models of the happy hairy couple on top.

And Darren was still trying to pick out a perfect wedding song. He racked every playlist on his iPod, searching for the one that screamed "Madam Octa and Scary Grey Spider FOREVER!"

_"I love just who you are, I ain't gon try to change it, you are my shooting star, thats why you are my favourite..."_

Too trippy.

_"We all wanna believe in love, we all wanna believe in something, bigger than just us..."_

Too Hanney Montanney. (This, however, was Kurda's first pick.)

_"It's a love story, baby just say yes!"_

Too...no. Just no. Not for a spider wedding.

_"Sweet thing...the moon is high and the night is young, come on and meet me..."_

Too twangy.

_"I'd give it all, I'd give for us, give anything but I won't give up..."_

Waaaait a minuite... Darren examined the album information. Nickelback's "Far Away" had a beautiful ring to it, singing of love that was neither sappy, goopy, gushy, slushy, or mushy, but strong, true, deep, beautiful and genuine. The music was fit for any time period, with no creepy techno or sudden electric bursts.

_"I love you...I have loved you all along. I miss you...been far away for far too long..."_

With a jolt he realised that he and Debbie had listened to this song together, holding hands the whole time. Suddenly...

_"I wanna have your babies! Get serious like crazy!"_

An upward glance revealed that Kurda had taken over Darren's iPod, and was injecting the perfectly planned wedding playlist with his most favourite songs.

_"There's a baby! Here's one! There's another! Oh there's one! Oh babies babies BABIES babies babies BABIES!"_

Darren slammed his head against the table. He didn't want to think about babies until this wedding deal was buried deep in the past.

**

It was finished. Darren couldn't believe it, but it was true. Everything was done. The cake had been made (and was being heavily guarded), the Hall of Princes had been beautifully decorated to within an inch of its life, Kurda had stitched together a cute little dress that Madam Octa was currently putting on, and everyone had pitched in to turn the Hall of Khledon Lurt into the ultimate reception party pad, complete with more drinks, bigger food, louder stereos, and brighter strobe lights than last week's Buck n Doe party had been. Darren wondered how much it would cost to bring a professional clean-up crew into the mountain when the thing was over and done with.

He wandered up to Larten's chamber, where his mentor was changing out of his red robe-into a red suit with a bright orange tie. Darren was wearing his good ol' pirate suit from back in the day when he was part of Madam Octa's Cirque Du Freak act.

"Ah, Darren. You look sharp." Larten commented without looking up. He was leaning on his desk, flipping through an old photo album. Darren looked closer, it was an old scrapbook full of old pictures. When Larten noticed Darren looking, he slammed it closed, but not before Darren noticed a picture of someone very familliar.

"Hey, that's me!" he protested.

"I have sevaral snapshots of you from years ago." Larten replied, holding his album protectively.

"I wanna see! You know I haven't seen a picture of myself since I was blooded?" Darren begged. (Although he was more interested in seeing what Mr. Crepsley was hiding.)

"No." the old Vampire replied with a smile, replacing the album on his desk and grabbing Darren my the shoulder and steering him out of the room.

**

They trekked down to the Hall of Princes, where they met up with the rest of the gang. Darren scanned the group, they looked exactly as he had expected them to: Mika (bridesmaid #1) was wearing a black suit with a blood-red tie, Arrow (bridesmaid #2) was wearing a dark maroon one, Kurda (the flower girl) had gone with a powder-blue tux with a hot pink and lime green tie, Seba (the Maid of Honour) was wearing a disturbing purple dress shirt paired with pineapple patterned shorts and Uggs. (and he was prepared to yell at anyone who disagreed with his fashion choices.) Harkat the Usher looked like a cool little security guard in a black tux, a yellow tie, dress shoes, and oversized sunglasses. And Paris (who had taken over Harkat's role of minister due to Harkat's speech impediment and the fact that he was too short to be seen behind the microphone table thingy), who would be presiding as the priest for the ceremony looked the most traditionally Vampiric in a white robe. (However, he was wearing several large and blingy rapper-style rings, earrings, and necklaces.)

Darren smiled and took a picture.

Larten reminded everyone to remain on their best behavior, then left to fetch Madam Octa and escort her up the aisle.

Darren suddenly remembered that he'd forgotten to hold a rehearsal.

Control, confidence, charisma, _FAIL._

* * *

There are ideas that you plan for months, and there are ideas that just kinda sneak up on you and scream **OHAI! you use me now, kthnxbai.** The newscast thing was one of those ones. Possibly I'll use it again? But yepp, everything in the above newscast was indeed correct and verified by Roxypony Studios International, and a Summer Edition of TVF will indeed by released immediately after the conclusion of _Larten Crepsley, Father of the Bride. _

For beating the summer heat, Roxy reccomends, "I'm On A Boat" by Lonely Island, a nice episode of Flashpoint, and a Fudgesicle. And for iPod Touch and iPhone owners, the Wattpad app, which allows you to read any book inculding the full DSS series absoutely anywhere, with the exception of underwater. That doesn't work.

--------  
*Roxxy,  
How do you stay so fresh?  
I think cool thoughts.  
--------


	9. Larten Crepsley, Father of the Bride

Okaay well that wait wasn't too long? It was? Yeah well, guess what, Imma post not one, but TWO chapters today. THATS RIGHT, TWO. only this first one's really short. But y'know what, too freakin bad.  
Man I remember back in the day when I updated every 3 days....

**Peridot Tears **too many babies!!!!!! man i used to hate that song...but dayummm, its catchy!! NICKELBACK IS MAH LOVER!!!! Thanks :)

**xoxoLostAngelCakexoxo **Yeeeeup...scary images alright. Thaaanks ;D

**Symphany of Terror** when you got your swim trunks, your flippy floppies, and a nice new update, do you really need anything else? other than a Vampire Mountain news channel...we DO need one of those... :)

**Akatsuki Child** oh,you loved the ENDING??? jeez thanks a lot!!!!! kiddaaaang :) i actually forget how that chap ended...if its as good as you say, imma go re-read it.... thanks :)

**xXFanatic09Xx **well, as long as it wasn't bad... ahaha yeah, theyre guna need some preetay intense sunscreen.....thanks :)

Here we go! I don't on "Untouched" by the Veronicas. uuuhhhmazing song, very Kurda-ey. Kurdaish? Kurdish? Kurdy? You decide.

* * *

Enter cheesey wedding music:

_Duuummm dum duh duhhhh....Duuummm dum duh duhhhh..._

Enter Paris the Minister (who looked more like a rapper.).

Enter the Bridesmaids, gliding gracefully up the aisle to stand in formation beside the altar.

Enter Harkat the Usher escorting the groom's eight-legged side of the family.

Enter Darren the ring-bearer.

Enter Flower-Girl Kurda skipping up the aisle, holding a basket of various petals in all sorts of colours and flinging them every which way, giggling in pure glee.

And finally, Larten Crepsley, Father of the Bride, carrying Madam Octa the beautiful bride in the palm of his hand.

Darren remembered the moment oh-so-long ago, when he and Seba had watched Madam Octa creep off to join her new boyfriend, and Darren had jokingly pictured Mr. Crepsley giving her away**. (AN: book 6, story inspiration, right there!)**

"We are gathered her today to celebrate the joining of two beautiful souls." Paris began. "Miss Madam Octa and her beloved, Mr, um, Scary Grey Spider. These two have agreed to be wed before all present witnesses present as they recite their vows..."

As Paris droned on and on, Darren found himself wiping a tear on the little cushion on which lay the rings. He never thought he'd be involved in a wedding after he'd entered the Vampire World. Looking back, he realised that he'd never even been to a proper wedding before. But who said a Vampire Mountain wedding wasn't a proper wedding?

A deafening sniffle from Mr. Crepsley brought him back to earth. Madam Octa and Scary Grey Spider were now wearing their wedding rings (which they wore as necklaces) and appeared to be locked in a very passionate spider kiss. As they broke apart and proceeded to crawl back up the aisle, everyone errupted into immense applause, although none more immense than that of Larten Crepsley who now had tears streaming down his face. Kurda was also crying, however much less gracefully than Mr. C who was maintaining the 3 C's. Mika was smiling, Seba was looking around as though wondering what everyone was making such a fuss about, Paris gave Larten a tackle-hug from behind, and Harkat was grinning from ear to ear and riding on Arrow's shoulders as the gang followed the newlyweds up the aisle. Arrow also appeared to have tears in his eyes. It was a perfect moment, until-

_I go oooh oooh you go aaah aaah, lalalala alalala_

_I wanna get get get what I want, don't stop_

_Give me give me give me what you got, got_

_Cause I can't wait wait wait any muh-mo-more_

_Don't even talk about the consequence_

_Cause right now you're the only thing that's making any sense to me_

_And I don't give a damn what they say, what they think, think is cool_

_the only one that's on my mind_

_I'll never ever let you leave me_

_I'll try to stop time for ever never wanna hear you say goodbye. (bye bye bye)_

Darren knew he should have checked the wedding playlist one last time to make sure it hadn't been Kurdafied when he wasn't looking... the typical classic wedding music was supposed to be on an infinite loop (he didn't know how long the thing might take) until the party started, where he would switch to the party playlist. But it appeared Kurda had decided they needed a bit more "ooh ohh aah aah" for the return trip from the altar. Darren was just thankful this song hadn't shattered the atmosphere during the actual ceremony...

_I feel so untouched_

_And I want you so much_

_That I just can't resist you_

_It's not enough to say that I miss you_

_I feel so untouched right now_

_I need you so much_

_I can't forget you_

_I've gone crazy from the moment I met you..._

When the group exited the Hall of Princes and Wedding Festivities, Darren was gripped by a sudden urge to jump on his mentor and give him one of the biggest hugs ever given in Vampire Mountain.

"Congratulations!" he squeaked muffled-ly into his red-suited shoulder.

"Couldn't have done it without you, Darren." Larten answered, suprisingly returning the hug.

"And I couldn't have done it without Control, Confidence and Charisma. Guess where I learned that?" Darren replied.

"When the student is ready, the teacher appears." Larten answered cryptically.

"I see."

**

* * *

yupp, that one little line from book 6 caused this entire abominative story :) if theres no update-per-5-minuites limit thinger on this site, chap 9 should be up in the next few minuites! Minuites, man that is for surely a Roxy Record.

PS i kinda didnt know how to write the actual dialogue for the actual ceremony, so I kinda had Darren zone out for that part...hehe imma lazy bugger :)

*Roxxy,


	10. Seba plus Fruit Juice equals Bad

Long time no see, right??

Enjoy.

* * *

Half an hour later, in the Hall of Khledon Lurt, the wedding feast was in full swing. Darren's gang took over half of the High Table at the front of the room, leaving the other end of the table for the groom's side of the family. The rest of the guests, both arachnid and Vampiric, were seated at the regular tables. Hundreds of huge steak, burgers, hot dogs, pizzas, and roast chickens had been brought up from the Hall of Flames, along with huge pots of raw meat, for the more traditional guests. On the sipder's side of the hall, there was a short, wide table stacked with bowls of flies, moths, worms, and various other delecacies.

But the one thing that totally surpassed everything from the last party was the Bar. Darren and Larten had not been informed of this, but Mika and Arrow had ordered a supply of dynamite off eBay, and proceeded to blast a crater in the side of the Hall, and turn it into a Wild West style bar, comlete with a mechanical bull (which Seba found highly disturbing). And of course a selection of drinks that included everything from Bud to Vex to 10000$ bottles of wine to fruity little coolers (which Kurda favoured). And that was only the alcohol, there was also great jugs of white, chocolate and strawberry milk (especially for Darren), a rainbow of every colour of Gatorade imaginable (to fulfill even Harkat's wildest dreams), good old-fashioned Coke, ("I haven't indulged in this since the vacation!" Paris delighted.), a giant coffee-expresso-mocha-latte maker that was capable of whipping up every flavour of coffee, expresso, mocha, and latte in existence (Larten didn't complain.), and of course, low-sugar decafinated all-natural dye-free wholeseome fruity drinks, ordered with Seba in mind.

Back at the High Table, Kurda was having quite a hard time cutting his steak, which was larger than his head.

"Mika? Mika? Mika Mika Mika?"

"WHAT!"

"Could you cut this? In like, little pieces? That I can fit into my mouth?"

"No."

"Whyyyeeeeeeeeee?"

Mika turned to his opposite side.

"Darren, why did you seat me right beside _him_?"

"For situations just like this!" Darren said through a mouthful of pizza.

Mika sighed miserably, reached under the table, withdrew his sword, and began to chop.

On the other side of the table, Seba was panicking because the beverage he thought was blood was in fact all-natural fruit juice.

"How-how _dare_ you! What gives you the right to force-feed me this abomination?"

"Nobody forced you! You picked it up and started chugging it!" Arrow snorted.

"It is surely spiked with lethal poison!" Sea groused. "If i do not receive an antidote, I will _die _in seconds!"

"Actually, it is...low-sugar decafinated...all-natural dye-free...wholeseome fruit juice!" Harkat informed him. "It is reccomended...by leading health experts...for children with...ADHD."

Seba tilted his head to the side and narrowed his eyes. Picked up the glass and gave it a long sniff. And decided he didn't agree with Harkat, and proceeded to fall off his chair and have a seizure on the floor.

"Jeez, Arrow, did you _actually_ poison it?" Darren groaned, running over at the commotion.

"Really, Arrow, we all know you don't like Seba, but did you _have_ to dispose of him at the Wedding Feast, of all things?" Paris frowned reproachfully.

"I didn't poison him, it's all in his head." the bald Prince glared.

"A-a-a-a-antidote! Seba shrieked as his head repeatedly banged into the table leg. Thinking quickly, Harkat scooped the remains of a hot dog weiner off his plate, jumped off his chair, and stuffed it into Seba's mouth, promising that it was indeed an antidote. With a squeaky gasp, Seba gave a final twitch, rolled over onto his back, and lay still.

Darren peeked over the top of the table at the guests on the other side.

"Nothing to see here!" he announced with a smile and a wave.

Darren had Mika and Arrow's muscles put to use by dragging Seba back into his chair, and Darren returned to his seat, only to find that when Mika left his job of cutting Kurda's steak to observe the Seba situation, Kurda had taken matters into his own hands, and the results included a mangled fork and knife, a broken plate, and bits of steak spattered halfway up the wall, and over 8 square feet of table.

* * *

I promise to update again in this life. Reviews sure help.

*Roxxy,


	11. Them Vampires Jackin My Style!

Omfg im updating! i didnt make you wait tooooooo long...i guess. this time i actually HAVE been quite busy with running around with my friends, on the bike, on the lawnmower, in the truck,on the horses, and even an exciting drive in the tractor. thats why authors from hicktown have issues with updating frequently! But enough of me, time for you guys!

**Peridot Tears** aha i had hoped for that sort of reaction :) i heard the student-teacher line in The Lion King One and a Half...i tend to go through my olf disney movies when i get hardcore bored. guess i coulda been updating. oopsie. :)

**roughdiamond5** dude omg that made my day, i feel sooo honoured!!!! ill try not to let yah down :)

**xoxoLostAngelCakexoxo** i ripped that line off Lion King 1 1/2, which in turn probably ripped it off Karate Kid or whatever :) giggle. i have my dumbass moments too. oodles of them. like when i tried to update the TVF Christmas story, but instead posted a chapter from a whole 'nother fandom. mann that was awkward...  
thanks so much :)

**SymphonyOfTerror** i love over dramatic stupid crazy OOC Seba too :) hes just too boring when hes in character. and Johnny Depp, huh? he looked dang good in Legend of Sleepy Hollow... i'll um, see if i can help you out on this one...Cique Du Freak book 13, Vampire Johnny? I dunno :)

**Akatsuki Child** I KNOW RIGHT?!?!?!?! :D i was pretty pleased with myself. yeah Kurda tends to have that effect on people...:D

**Elenafromthewoods** HOOOLLLYYYYYY SHIIIITTTTTTTTTTTT when i saw a review from you i jumped for joy!!! no problem at all, it happens!!! i practically forgot Darren for Flashpoint last year.... but i was lucky enough to get my feeling back. maybe youll get yours back, but if not, youll always be my favouritest FF buddy!!! (i feel bad for pickin favourites, but come on, we go way back!!!) i still read the fic you wrote me for when i went to Kentucky :P i think ill post it sometime if thats ok with you..of course ill say who actually wrote it. MUCH LOVEE and summer greeting to youu tooooo :D hope to hear form ya soon!!!!

**LoveStar1026** Thanks :) A for effort, right? HAHA it wont be over till i get too old to use a computer...which will be, like, neverrrr. ;D

WOW that was a lotta replies. Im tired. Maybe a few less reviews?

JUST KIDDING SERIOUSLY HOPE YA DIDNT FALL FOR THAT ONE!!!!

i talk a lot...lets get on with ittt.....

I DO NOT own the songs i used, Boom Boom Pow and Im On A Boat. theyre owned by the Black Eyed Peas and whatshisface who wrote Im On A Boat. i forgotzed.

* * *

Darren had been to a few feasts in his life, and the one that had just ended had by far been the most strenuous. He'd thrown his back out wiping the remains of Kurda's steak off the wall, and almost broken his wrist helping Mika and Arrow drag Seba back into his chair after having a violent seizure-type-thing. And he'd never mention this to Kurda, but he too found that the steak was very difficult to cut. The food was positively orgasmic, but he hoped there wouldn't be any more feasts for a few years. Anyway, now that the steak-cleanup procedure was complete, he ambled over to where Mika, Arrow, Larten, Paris, and Harkat were carrying tables out of the Hall to make room for the dance. Well, Mika Arrow, Larten, and Paris were moving tables. Harkat was sitting on them taking free rides in and out of the Hall.

"Darren, the speaker system...is ready...to go!" he called from atop the moving table.

"10-4, Mulds!" Darren called back, changing course to the direction of the music table. He took a moment to admire the state-of-the-art music station he'd created. The small stage in the corner held 2 massive speaker systems, which were connected to wall-mounted and hidden-in-flowerpots speakers which were distributed around the room. On a table on the stage, there sat Kurda's hot pink iPod stereo. And on the dock of the stereo, there was Darren's own silver iPod classic. (They decided not to use the more glamorous iPod Touch for this task, due to the large amount of tantalizing side features which, if activated, could interrupt the party playlist. ) Darren set his finger to the click wheel, entered the Party Playlist, and clicked the first song.

_Shortaaayyyy....._

_Aww shit, get your towels ready it's about to go down (shorty, yeah)_

_Everybody in the place hit the fucking deck (shorty, yeah)_

_But stay on your motherfucking toes_

_We running this, let's go_

This particular song earned some dissaproving shrieks from Seba, but Darren figured it was as good a party-starter as any. It got a over half the guests out on the dance floor.

_I'm on a boat (I'm on a boat)_

_I'm on a boat (I'm on a boat)_

_Everybody look at me 'cause I'm sailing on a boat (sailing on a boat)_

_I'm on a boat (I'm on a boat)_

_I'm on a boat_

_Take a good hard look at the motherfucking boat (motherfucking boat, yeah)_

At this point, Kurda began singing along. Not to mention busting a little table dance to go with it.

_I'm on a boat motherfucker take a look at me_

_Straight floating on a boat on the deep blue sea_

_Busting five knots, wind whipping out my coat_

_You can't stop me motherfucker cause I'm on a boat_

At _this_ point, Darren gave up trying to keep control of the situation, and permitted himself to bust a few moves alongside Harkat, Mika, and Arrow, whose moves were much less inappropriate than Kurda's.

_Take a picture, trick (trick)_

_I'm on a boat, bitch (bitch)_

_We drinking Santana champ,_

_Cause it's so crisp (crisp)_

_I got my swim trunks_

_And my flippie-floppies_

Every creature in the hall who was even remotely familiar with the song screamed that particular line. Some had even worn their flippie-floppies in anticipation that this song would be played.

_I'm flipping burgers, you at Kinko's_

_Straight flipping copies_

_I'm riding on a dolphin, doing flips and shit_

_The dolphin's splashing, getting everybody all wet_

_But this ain't Seaworld, this is real as it gets_

_I'm on a boat, motherfucker, don't you ever forget_

_I'm on a boat and_

_It's going fast and...-BOOM BOOM BOOM, gotta get that, gotta get that, gotta get that_

_Boom boom boom (Yeah) _

_Boom boom boom _

_"NOOO! I WANT THE BOAT SONG BACK!" _Seba howled.

"I thought you...didn't approve of...profanity?"

"The boat song is an aquired taste!"

"Ah."

_Yo_

_I got the hit that beat the block_

_You can get that bass overload_

_I got the that rock and roll_

_That future flow_

The guests didn't seem to notice or care that the song had changed, they continued busting out in random, dangerous, unexpected, and often disturbing moves.

_That digital spit_

_Next level visual shit_

_I got that (Boom boom boom)_

_How the beat bang (Boom boom boom)_

After singing along for a few verses, Darren decided it was time to hit the bar, and was eagerly joined by Harkat, Mika, Arrow, Paris, Kurda, and Larten. Mika, Harkat, and Arrow decided to try their skills at the mechanical bull first, while Darren and Larten grabbed stools in the quietest area of the bar.

"Well, Mr. Crepsley, I did it!" Darren grinned, sipping his Blueberry Vex.

"Did what, Darren?" said Larten absent-mindedly, taking a long, relaxing gulp of his specially requested vintage 1967 red wine.

Darren frowned. "Well. I planned the whole wedding, the dress got made, the food got prepared, the guests got invited, and the Hall didn't just set itself up, you know!"

"That is excellent, Darren, do you want cookie every time you do something right?" Larten replied in a mentorly manner and with a roll of his eyes.

"I wouldn't mind." Darren grumbled, exiting the bar, blue Vex in hand. "A cookie is better than nothing..."

He was, however, unexpectedly intteruped as a large Harkat-coloured blur came crashing down on top of his head, knocking him into the bar and toppling a line of stools, some of which were in use. It seemed Harkat had lost his battle with the mechanical bull.

_I like that boom boom pow_

_Them chickens jackin my style_

_They try to copy my swagger_

_I'm on that next shit now_

_I'm so 3008_

_You so 2000 and late_

_I got that boom boom boom_

_That future boom boom boom_

_Let me get it now_

_Boom boom boom (Gotta get that) _

_Boom boom boom (Yeah) _

_Boom boom boom _

2 hours later, Vampire Mountain didn't look much different that it had at the Buck N Doe party. As expected, it had gretaly overflowed the Hall, there were now rampant guests surfing through the underground river, sustaining injuries in the Hall of Games, and a few wise asses had turned the Hall of Death into the world's largest indoor camping experience, complete with a massive fire rising from the Pit of Stakes and were roasting marthmallows, weiners, toast, juice boxes, chicken nuggets, steaks, and whatever else they could forage from the kitchen. They even had folding beach chairs, camping hats, and a few were singing "Kumbayah". Darren enlisted Harkat and Mika to safely lock Seba in the kitchen so that there was no chance of him finding this abomination to such a sacred place. When he was secure, they joined Paris, Arrow, Larten, and Kurda who were already seated. Paris holding a long thing that appeared to be some sort of antler, holding several marshmallows on each prong. Darren decided not to ask. Arrow was roasting 2 steaks, Larten was holding a mug of coffee in one hand, and a half-empty bottle of vodka in the other. Kurda was reclining in his magenta beach chair, wearing his white Dolce and Gabbanna shades. Mika grabbed a seat beside his bestest friend Arrow, who passed him a steak. Darren sat down beside Larten, with Harkat close behind.

"How are you enjoying yourself so far, Mr. Creplsey?" Darren asked slowly and clearly in case his mentor had taken too much advantage if the open bar.

"Dararren...you made an...very good partay." Larten announced with a lopsided smile.

"I think maybe I should take this for a while." said Darren gently, attempting to pry the vodka out of his grip. "You can keep your coffee."

""I am...I'm doing...I am being good." he replied firmly, tightening his grip on the vodka.

"Let him keep it." Mika chuckled. "That shit wears off fast."

"I seriously hope." Darren sighed. "Madam Octa wants her wedding song to be played in exactly 45 minutes."

Mika frowned. "Maybe not_ that _fast."

Darren knew in his heart that in his sober state, Larten would kill Darren if he allowed him to be drunk for his beloved Madam Octa's special dance. Taking full advantage of his Vampiric powers, he leaned over stealthily and ripped the bottle from Larten's hands and tossed it into the Pit of Stakes before Mr. C could even react. He gave Darren an furious and undecipherable rant about which Mika found extremely entertaining, but Darren just gave thanks that he wasn't hammered enough to follow the bottle.

* * *

i actually gotta run cuz im on the verge of being late for practice. Got a horse show tomorrow...one of the last ones this season :( so instead of saving this and posting it later, imma skip proofreading and post it now. if you found any typos, hope you could figure out what i actually meant :)

--------  
*Roxxy,  
How do you stay so fresh?  
I think cool thoughts.  
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	12. I Have Loved You All Along

Ho. Ly. SHIT. I UPDATED TWICE IN A WEEK BBEH!!!! *shrieks*

readers: *grumpily* remember back in the day when you updated 5 times a week and it was no big deal?

Yeah well my chapters were shitty back then!!! Dude i re-read Vampires On Vacation the other day, and wow do I ever sound like a nutty little kid in the first few chapters!!! Dayummm...

**xoxoLostAngelCakexoxo** lol, me too :)

**SymphonyOfTerror** Lawl. thats what happens when i write drunk larten at 2 in the morning :) and roasting juice boxes is actually fun. I dont drink them though... :)

**roguhdiamond5** for sure ;D i think the uses for the underground river really are unlimited...but wait till yall see what ive got planned for a future chapter....

**vampires-pen** omg, the poor guy. i might have to write him out of the story just for his protection.....kidding...people would hurt me. :)

**lovestar1026** thanks sweetheart, i feel so understood :)

aiiiight, so a few things. first off, this chap is a little bit different. ie: weirdish. probably because im in it. yeah...i had to make a guest appearence sometime. shouldnt be TOO hard to spot me....  
anyway, i had this idea for a chapter a real long time ago, and it didnt turn out quite as pro as i hoped, but see what ya think :) i seriously doubt you were expecting it.... ;D

Nickelback owns the song.

* * *

Eventually, Darren and Harkat were able to round up the majority of the partiers, and managed to seal them into the dance hall to observe Madam Octa and Scary Grey Spider's official wedding dance. It seemed Paris had booked a professional DJ, who had shown up late due to her Dodge Ram Hemi (dark red, mega cab, jacked up, and chromed out) with a Cummins V8 Turbo Diesel Engine had ran out of gas en route to Vampire Mountain. She went by "DJ Roxy" and was outfitted in slim-fit boot-cut size 27 Guess jeans with scarlet rhinestones across the ass pockets, gold Uggs, and a plaid shirt. Seba, Paris, and Larten thought she was odd-looking. Mika and Arrow thought she was a babe. Kurda thought he'd just found his new soul sister. Darren was encouraged to see someone from the human world. Harkat thought she was nice.

"Hello Vampire Mountain!" said the stranger, taking up position on the music stage. "I'm here because parties with iPods instead of DJs are lame, and also a little something called "author's privelege"!"

The Vampires looked up at her blankly. She flashed a movie-star smile and continued.

"Aiiiight, Imma take this opportunity to extend congratulations to the beautiful bride Madam Octa and her beloved Scary Grey Spider! May this couple live in health, harmony, happiness, control, confidence, charisma and all that NOW LETS HEAR IT FOR MADAM O AND SGS IN THEIR FIRST DANCE AS NEWLYWEDS!"

Insert applause.

"But first..." said DJ Roxy mysteriously, "We have a few very late and very special guests who will remain with us throughout the duartion of this dance."

On cue, the Hall doors creaked open and a line of dark figures walked in. Darren looked around in confusion, and observed that nobody else seemed to know who these weirdos were. Until they stepped into the light.

Darren made a squeaky noise.

Larten burst into loud, uncontrollable tears.

Arrow looked stunned, terrified, agonized, disbelieving, and overjoyed.

Harkat's face cracked into a beautiful smile.

From left to right, the line of special guests included Debbie, Arra, Arrow's wife, a Little person who was smaller and cuter than Harkat, Gavner Purl, and Sam Grest.

The next five minuites consisted of Darren passing out and Debbie jumping on him, Arra attacking Larten and shoving his head into a sink full of cold water to sober him up a bit, Arrow caressing his wife in disbelieving happiness, Harkat hugging the Little Person (the one that got killed by the bear), Mika and Paris congratulating Gavner on being back from the dead, and Sam and Seba striking up a conversation as he waited to talk to his old buddy Darren who was busy liplocking with Debbie, and DJ Roxy offering absolutely no explanation of the situation other than the unfamiliar phrase, "Author's Privelege".

DJ Roxy ruined the mood several minuites later by turning on the wedding song so loudly that conversation was impossible, so Darren grabbed Debbie and they swayed to the slow beat of the wedding song.

_This time_

_This place_

_Misused_

_Mistakes_

_Too long_

_Too late_

_Who was I to make you wait?_

_Just one chance_

_Just one breath_

_Just in case there's just one left_

_'Cause you know, you know, you know..._

_I love you_

_I have loved you all along_

_And I miss you_

_Been far away for far too long_

_I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go_

_Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore_

For a moment, Darren felt compelled to rip his eyes off Debbie to observe the whereabouts of his friends.

_On my knees, I'll ask_

_Last chance for one last dance_

_'Cause with you, I'd withstand all of hell to hold your hand_

_I'd give it all_

_I'd give for us_

_Give anything but I won't give up_

_'Cause you know, you know, you know I love you_

_I have loved you all along_

_And I miss you_

_Been far away for far too long_

_I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go_

_Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore_

Arrow and his wife were dancing as close together as humanly possible in the most secluded corner of the hall. They appeared to be talking in low whispers.

_So far away, so far away_

_Been far away for far too long_

_So far away, so far away_

_Been far away for far too long_

Harkat and his deceased partner were holding hands and spinning in a slow circle, expressions of pure glee etched upon their mutilated faces.

_But you know, you know, you know I wanted, I wanted you to stay_

_'Cause I needed, I need to hear you say that I love you (That I love you)_

_I have loved you all along_

Larten and Arra had their arms wrapped tightly around each other, and were rocking back and forth to the music. Larten appeared to be leaning his head upon her shoulder, wearing a misty expression.

_And I forgive you (And I forgive you) for being away for far too long_

_So keep breathing 'cause I'm not leaving you anymore_

He supressed a snicker as he noticed DJ Roxy waltzing with a certain Mika Ver Leth.

_Believe it_

_Hold on to me and never let me go_

_Keep breathing 'cause I'm not leaving you anymore_

Over Debbie's shoulder, Darren managed to catch they eyes of Sam and Gavner, to whom he mouthed "I'm sorry." Gavner smiled in a fatherly way, and Sam gave him the thumbs-up. Darren felt a tear leak from his eye.

_Believe it_

_Hold on to me and never let me go_

_Keep breathing_

"Time's almost up, guys." a soft and brokenhearted voice drifted up from the DJ table. Darren realised this strange event was too incredible to last...when the song ended, the lost guests would fade. He promised Debbie they'd be together again...

_Hold on to me and never let me go_

And they pressed together in the tightest embrace humanly possible...

_Keep breathing_

Until...

_Hold on to me and never let me go_

Like illusions, Debbie, Arra, Arrow's wife, Harkat's love, Sam, and Gavner vanished, leaving everyone wondering if they'd ever been there at all.

* * *

so yeaah. that was that. feedback is much appreciated.

i danced with Mika :) i'm sorry. Author's privelege, y'know.

and i didnt name Arrow's wife or Harkat's partner, figured id leave it up to your imaginations. ;D i thought the idea of Harkat having a partner was adorable.

anyyywayy... maybe ill update again this week. ynever know!

imma go eat some of my secret stash of cookie dough right about now... with Harkat's help! Byyye :)

--------  
*Roxxy,  
Hpw do you stay so fresh?  
I think cool thoughts.  
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	13. K so this isnt really a chapter?

K omg.

Did anyone else just see the preview for the Cirque Du Freak movie?????

_**IT LOOKS LIKE A FUCKING JOKE.**_

HES KISSING A MONKEY GIRL?????? SOOOO NOT IMPRESSED. Mr Crepsley? wtf. HARKAT BITING PEOPLE AND MAKING NOISE? WTF??? im sooo gonna go to this one and throw my cowboy boots at the screen.

* * *

just had to get that off my chest. Lmfao, i got your hopes up for an update :P itll happen soon though!! Maybe even this week.

OH. and i got a twitter for fanfiction updates, additional notes on my fics, and excuses for not updating. im morw of a facebook person than twitter, but im givin it a try! add or follow me or whatever, i go simply by Roxypony :) my display pic is the same as my ff profile pic. i can also reply reviews, and just chill with you guys in general :)

Thanks for reading this exciting non-chapter!!!

*Roxxy,


	14. Slide Me, Baby

LOOK AT THAT! A REAL LIVE CHAPTER! if you read the thing i posted this week, you know my views on the DSS movie and I need not say more.

Anyway. I have a truckload of stuff to do, 2 horses to exercise, homework, farm work, and a little bit of a hangover, so at the moment i have nothing more to say, other than:

**xoxoLostAngelCakexoxo** TRUE. THAT!!!!!!!! eew...Debbie. notice how i gave her like, nothing to do in chapter whatever it was.

**DarrenShanIsMine** Couldnt have put it better myself. would it really have been too much effort to cast a male Cormac??? and the tail.... just kill me now.

**Symphony of Terror** ive actually changed my mind about the whole boot-throwing deal. if i do end up seeing the movie, ill pick up some cheap dollar store shoes to throw, cuz i dont feel like wasting my red boots with lime green stars :P updating riiightt....NOW!

**Peridot Tears** Authors privelege rocks. I should use it more often.  
Vodka explodes when you throw it into a fiery pit??????? thank God i'm not a fiery pit. Glad you howled with laughter ever freaking second :)

**Librastar** haha, me too...man my author's notes in the first few chaps of TVF 1sounded like they were written by a 12 year old hopped up on coffee. but i gotta say, last year's Christmas one was my fave so far! :)

**roughdiamond5** lmao i actually had that idea a really long time ago, and it so corny i couldnt NOT put it in :P ahaha yeeaayy for making you tear up :) Yes. im also interested to see how the boys handle the hangover. as long as they don't break their friend's toilets...it happens. seriously.

**xoxoLostAngelCakexoxo** review #2. HAha, give him weird looks back :P i lllooooveee it when ppl cry over my fics! it makes me all fuzzy inside. ohh man i feel mean.

**sheeprock** Thaannkkksss :)

**Wolf Seeker** HA GOTCHA! thanks :)

**Symphony of Terror** Ooooh you crying people make me giggleeee. Thanks so much :)

omg that was a lot of reviews....i could just reply em privately as they come in, but ive always used and preferred this method :)

enjoooy!

* * *

While the official wedding dance had been both a joyful and depressing event of which everyone was unsure that it had actually occured, Darren could not dwell on it. The time had come to cut the cake. There were gasps of awe and roars of delight as Harkat and Paris wheeled out the cart bearing the 4-foot high pink, blue, and white iced cake, complete with 2 toy spiders on top. Harkat appeared to be a natural host, so he gave Darren a break and proceeded to serve up individual slices to the long line that soon formed. He appeared to have control, confidence, and charisma _down. _

10 minuites later, everyone was seated and enjoying their cake, but Darren spied a potential miscreant: Seba had finished his small slice (he was on a low-sugar diet in an attempt to keep him normal.) and was sneaking back to the dessert table to help himself to considerably more than his reccomended daily dose of sugar. Darren was currently reminiscing with Evra and Mr Tall, whom Larten had suprise-invited along with the rest of the Cirque Du Freak, so he discreetly texted Mika and asked him if he would please make sure Seba didn't overdose. Mika was eager to help, although Darren later wished he told Mika that a violent rugby-style tackle followed by duck-taping Seba to a spinny chair might not be appropriate for a wedding feast.

"Do you guys always have so much...fun?" Evra asked as he observed Seba spinning in a circle and trying to chew through the tape.

"It's a nonstop party around here." Darren sighed, gulping the last of his bright blue martini. It was lucky that he finished it, because at the next moment, a large, heavy mass collided with him at an extremely high speed.

"Where the hell are you going?" Darren groaned furiously.

The mass, that turned out to be Arrow, said:

"VANCHA BROUGHT A SLIP N SLIDE!" then departed at a dangerous speed.

"Slip N Slide?" Darren groaned.

"Slip N Slide!!" Harkat's face lit up.

"SLIPPINSLIDE!" Mika roared, following arrow.

"Slip N Slide..." Paris muttered in disbelief.

"A Slip And Slide?" Larten snorted incredulously.

"WHAT IS A SLIPPANDSLIDE?" Seba shrieked.

"Um, Seba, it's obviously somthing that slips and slides?" Kurda specified.

Evra rolled his eyes.

"It's not too late. You can leave and never come back." Darren informed him. "Save yourself. Go without me."

***

The Slip N Slide experience turned out to be a mixture of terrifying, enjoyable, wet, painful, chaotic, yellow, and inappropriate. Firstly, a long line of party guests tried to take a slide, but they did not get extremely far, and caused a 47-body pile-up less than halfway down the slide. When it was finally determined that the it needed water to be effectively Slippy and Slidey, Vancha was momentarily stumped, as indoor plumbing had not been present in the Mountain when he was there. However, Harkat immediately rushed into the storage room and retrieved a long garden hose, which he then cleverly connected to the shower thingy in the bathroom. Finally, he cranked on the water all the way.

Instant hilarity.

For everyone other than Darren, who knew that he would A) have to clean up the mess and B) try to get the rest of the gang to help (He didn't know which would be harder), Mr. Crepsley, who was simply ashamed that he was allowing this to happen, and Seba, who was still taped to the chair and unable to partake in the fun. But he managed to roll his way into the hallway, and decided to wait in line for a chance to slide, chair or not. When his turn came, he used his feet to scoot himself several feet, then with a massive push, he shot down the middle of the slide with his mouth wide open in a silent scream. He flew over the inflatable bump at the bottom of the slide, and came to rest in a crumpled heap beside the wall. Darren advanced cautiously on him - injured and restrained animals were always vicious - but from beneath the chair came a phrase no one expcted from Seba:

"That was FUN."

Although he said it in his usual Seba-ly tone, Darren figured he had genuinely enjoyed the experience, and could be allowed to do it again, this time free of the chair.

Now it was Kurda's turn to slide. Seemingly unwilling to get overly wet, he jogged a few steps, and slid skiing-style. He progressed almost halfway down the slide, before he was steamrollered by Mika and Arrow, who had found giant snow-tubes, and were using them to careen down the slide at a speed that caused Kurda to fly seven feet into the air.

Darren looked around at the lakes of water covering the floor, a small puddle of vomit in the corner, empty drink containers, squashed pieces of cake, a few undergarments, balloons sticking to the ceiling, trying to calculate how many months it would take to get the place cleaned up, then his eyes landed on an abandoned tube at the bottom of the slide. He glances sideways at Mr Creplsey, who was too busy lecturing Vancha to notice if Darren lost his 3 C's for a little while...

He scooted over to the tube, picked it up, examined it, heard someone yell,

"DARREN, HEADS UP!"

_**SPLAM!**_

All went dark.

* * *

to be totally honest, i didn't proof read that. so if you find any typos, myy bad. hopefully you can figure out what i meant.

youu know what to doooo!!!

ps, purple gatorade martinis are good. IN _**SMALL**_ amounts! cant emphasive the word SMALL enough.  
and always love your best friend, because a true friend won't make you pay for repairs to their broken toilet.

maybe 2 more chaps left in this fic? and imma try for something special for Halloween! and of course there will be a Christmas one. maybe not as lng as last year's, but there will be one.

OH AND FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER! my name is roxypony! i havent twitted yet, cuz i aint got any followers at the moment. it's just a thingy to help me communicate with readers. we'lls see how it works, im not a twitter person. Facebook all the way!

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*Roxxy,  
How do you stay so fresh?  
I think cool thoughts.  
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	15. Escalade: Reloaded

The first update in, like, ever. i know, i'm lame...

and this is the last chapter for this story. its a bit of a random and sudden ending, but in total honesty (im known for that) the wedding story was boring me to insanity. i need a change!!

im not gonna reply reviews tonight, this chapter is crappy enough i just came off a 3 hour practice (rodeo stars dont get winter vacations. we have indoor facilities for that) so im freaken exhausted. you may be able to tell by my lack of proper grammar in the author's note. but know that i read each review multiple times, and they never stop meaning the world to me.

dont own. dont sue.

enjoy guys. ily all.

* * *

Darren regained consciousness around 11 am, several hours after the reception broke up. He came to the realisation that he was completely buried. Distantly, he heard a terrifying scraping grinding crushing sound, accompanied by the sound of a diesel engine, along with a scream of,

"TURN IT OFF!! THAT'S DARREN!"

"OHSHIT."

Darren recognized the latter as Mika's voice. The sound of the engine died, and there was a thump and a patter of little Vampire feet. Someone bent over Darren, and he experienced the sensation of being unearthed from a mound of beverage containers of varying emptiness, used napkins and plates, and some shredded yellow remains of the Slip N Slide. Finally, he was able to inhale a breath of fresh oxygen, and see the mutilated grey face of his saviour, and Mika parking a backhoe near by. Behold the power of eBay...at least the mess wasn't a problem anymore. He just hoped it was being disposed of in a safe location. Burned in the pit of stakes would be fine.

"So THAT is where...you've been." Harkat greeted.

"Muuuuhhhhhhhh!" Darren answered, spitting a wad of unknown substance from his mouth.

Harkat reached down and grabbed Darren's hand, and proceeded to drag him across the floor in the direction of the stairs.

"Can't...you...walk? We need to...MOVE!!"

"Wherwegoin?' Darren grunted.

"We don't...know yet!" Harkat answered. "Madam Octa just...ordered an... evacuation! We have to get...out!"

"Evacuhuuuhhhhhh?"

"For her...what's the word...honeymoon...instead of going on...a vacation...she wishes to have...the entire mountain...to herself! All Vampires...must go!"

"Wuhhyyy?"

"Well...last time we went...on vacation....Scary Grey Spider...proposed to her...so I suppose it...makes sense."

"Whurrrrrwegoin?"

"We'll decide...on the way!"

"Aaaauuuuuuuuhhhhhhh....."

"Stop being...so monosyllabic...and pack your bags!" Harkat ordered sternly, pulling Darren halfway up the first step and releasing him when his head thunked agaunst the stone stair. Harkat hurried up the rest of the way, leaving Darren to finish the journey alone.

He eventually dragged himself into his room and guzzled a Red Bull and a huge carton of chocolate milk. Considerably perked up, he dug his ginourmous suitcase and backpack out of of his closet. He'd stowed it away and forgotten about it since the terribly memorable skiing vacation. Although it had been a good time, he had sworn off travelling for the next 6 decades. However, it seemed seemed apparent that this time they didn't get a choice. And they hadn't a clue what their destination was!The organized side of Darren's brain found this profoundly disturbing.

But smartly, he decided it would be better not to dwell on it. He was too young for gray hairs. Deciding what to pack was currently a far more pressing matter. He eventually decided that ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING would be the best idea.

Hair comb, snow suit, toothbrush, swim trunks, sunglasses, an old chocolate bar, iPod, half a pack of gum, various chargers for his electronic posessions, cell phone, his beloved 24-pack of sharpies, mini laptop, a juice box, toothpaste, industrial strength nail clippers, a dvd "Season 4 of Dr. Phil", scissors with red grippy handles, an envelope cotaining various photos and letters from Debbie, and an assortment of clothes, including the hot pink Abercrombie shirt, (a half-birthday gift from Kurda) flew into the suitcase, in that order.

Darren reached for the last thing hanging on his wall, the snow globe containing the dear old photo taken at the Ski Lodge. However, he pauised, then decided against packing it along. Until Madam Octa decided they were allowed back in the mountain, he was going to be stuck touring WhoKnowsWhereLand with Harkat, Kurda, Larten, Mika, Paris Seba and Arrow. The last thing he needed was a picture of them.

There came a commotion in the hall, and a horde of creatures attempted to crash through Darren's

"Wheeeeere are weeee goinggggggg?"

"GODDAMMIT KURDA, FOR THE LAST TIME, I DON'T KNOW!" Mika snapped, attempting to crush his blond skull against the doorknob.

"Darren, I would like very much if we returned to the ski resort. According to their website, 4 new cafes have opened since we were there." Larten announced as he pulled a 360 turn and followed Darren back out the door towards the Essie garage.

"I WANNA GO ON A BOAT!" Seba suggested with dizzying loudness as he crawled into the back seat.

"NO boats." Paris said firmly. "Please?"

"If we go on a boat, it has to have a gift shop. And colour coordinated furnishings." Kurda decided.

"Somewhere with...food." Harkat fantasized. "Lots..."

"Somewhere with _not _Vampaneze." Arrow added.

"I've always wanted to try a helicopter." Mika suggested. "And an ATV, and a Hummer, and motorcycle..."

"Somewhere with a view. Where you can see the sky." Arrow continued.

"Somewhere with room service." Paris ordered.

Darren sighed as he carefully shoved the last bag into the trunk, and cranked the hatch down, hearing an ominous _scrunch _as the overstuffed vehicle was further compressed. He opened the driver door and was almost blasted down by the old classic, the ever popular _Ridin' Dirty. _Kurda crooned along to the small portion of the lyrics he understood, Mika and Arrow made rockstar sound effects, Seba yelled for the abomative youngsters to turn it down, Larten and Paris played cards, and Harkat ripped open a bag of sour gummy bears and proceeded to fling them into the air, out the window, into his mouth, and occasionally under the seat.

Darren decided that wherever they were going, that place better watch the fuck out.

The wedding was over, but the adventure hadn't even begun.

* * *

Round and round the Vampires go, where they end up, nobody knows! Not even me. Have simply not decided where yet. Promise itll be fun. Quite possibly Christmassy.

I am of course open to suggestions for the 4th installment of my beloved TVF :)

PS, follow Roxypony Studios International on Twitter. instructions located on my profile!!

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How do you stay so fresh?  
I think cool thoughts.  
*Roxxy,  
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